Dear Friends,

Early reports that emanated from Washington DC on Wednesday afternoon were deeply concerning.

The images and the videos that were subsequently released were downright frightening, appalling and sickening.  

It was mob violence and out of control anarchy at its worst.

The United States Capitol was under siege and being overrun by thousands of our fellow Americans! 

What’s more, it was instigated, inspired and encouraged by the leader of our country.

It was disgraceful.

It was horrifying.

It was heartbreaking. 

It was also a stark reminder.

It demonstrated that words do matter.

That the messages that emanate from our mouths can have far reaching effects. 

They can uplift but they can also destroy.

They can comfort but they can also shatter. 

They can bring us together but they can also tear us apart. 

Our country is now at a crossroads. 

A new administration is about to be sworn in with so much tension and disunity.

A pandemic rages.

Economic uncertainty still lingers.

Racial tensions continue to simmer.

Great political divisions and mistrust have not subsided.

Violence has become the de facto response by too many groups and individuals who use it to unleash their anger, disagreement and rage.

What has become of us?

Is there any way that we can shift gears, turn the tide, and reunite?

Is it possible for a nation that has citizens with such divided and alternative realities to coexist and come together? 

Or are we, G-d forbid, headed once again for secession and civil war?

It is with these most unsettling questions that my family and I approach a weekend of personal celebration.

As our daughter, Tova, celebrates her Bas Mitzvah, are there any words of hope and reasons for optimism to share that perhaps can cause her and all of us to look forward to better days?

Is the promise of America still possible? 

Can we still be one united nation?

Can the tensions subside?

Can hope still rise?

I, of course, don’t know what the future will bring, but I would like to offer one message of optimism and possibility.

I will begin by stepping back and reminiscing. 

Twelve years ago, my wife, Adina, was convinced she was pregnant with a boy!

The baby developing inside of her was so active!

It was constantly moving, kicking and shifting.

It seemed to be full of energy, motion and exuberance. 

Not only that, but the constant ebbing and fluctuation of intense contractions resulted in four (yes, four!) false labors! 

In addition, based upon the experience with our other children, Adina seemed to be correct in her assumption.

After all, our daughter Meira was delicate, dainty and decorous.

In contradistinction, our sons Dovid and Ezra were much more disorderly, defiant and occasionally, destructive. 

And so the pattern seemed clear.

The matter was settled.

We were going to be blessed with another boy!

Well, not so fast!

G-d had other plans.

And the final word!

On the cold and snowy Monday evening of January 19, 2009, just moments after the onset of the 24th of Teves, our mischievous, sometimes confounding, but always insightful, wise and most deeply spiritual daughter, Tova Elisheva, was born into our family. 

In keeping up with her embryonic activity, Tova has not stopped moving since she has entered this world.

With an infectious laugh, a huge smile and a sparkle in her eyes she keeps us constantly on guard as we are ever left wondering what she is up to and what she will do next.

Whether it's riling up her younger brother, Moshe, drafting a pointed letter to a teacher or contriving with friends to plot some school related upheaval, Tova constantly uses her intellect, creativity, and sense of justice to advocate, pursue and implement what is on her mind.

At the same time, Tova has a softer side as well.

She loves to dance, sing and play the piano.

Although she is surprisingly quite shy when asked to perform, she will nonetheless, in her own space, project her love for music.

Her voice is exquisite! 

She sings so beautifully.  

Whether it is the latest camp song, the Davening that she learned in school, or a popular Jewish tune, Tova can sing on and on, for what seems like an endless amount of time, belting out whatever is in her mind for that moment.

I am not sure exactly what we were thinking, but we even purchased for her, this past Chanukah, a children’s Karaoke machine that has its own microphone and beat selection. 

If that wasn’t enough, her sister Meira, purchased for her a home disco ball that projects multiple colors throughout her room that she now uses when she sings and dances.

Speaking of dancing, to reinforce her love for that skill, we signed her up, during COVID, for a frum zoom dance class for girls her age that is led by a wonderful instructor from Passaic, New Jersey.

On most nights following dinner, and often on Motzei Shabbos, our house will be shaking and rocking, as Tova jumps, stomps and beats to the music!   
 
When she isn’t singing or dancing, (or talking to her friends on the phone!) she will often be found downstairs playing on the piano.  

From the lessons that she has taken over the past several years she has become quite proficient.  It is most soothing and relaxing for all of us as she serenades the house with beautiful tunes and songs. 

Although there is all this movement and commotion that surrounds her, there is also a very quiet and gentle side.

She loves to read.

We will often find her in her room, huddled up in a ball on her bed, with her eyes gazing into a book.  She is so mesmerized and focused, she will often still be in her coat, wearing her shoes or boots. 

And her choice of books?

Mostly those that are serious, contain lessons and those that capture the human spirit and condition.

As a great-granddaughter of Holocaust survivors, she will often read age approrpiate books on the Shoah and then ask deep and penetrating questions when she is finished.

In addition, she loves to draw, color, paint and create projects.

She can sit for hours at the table creating the most beautiful pictures and designs. 

What’s more, and Adina and I can’t figure out where she inherited it from, but she has the most beautiful, clear and exquisite penmanship.  It’s just a pleasure to read and look at.

For Adina and myself, however, we are most in awe of her, when it comes to her devotion, sincerity and connection to Hashem and Yiddishkeit.

You see, Tova is a most spiritual individual.

She takes her Davening so seriously.

When she hears that someone is ill or in need, she has inculcated and absorbed the lessons of her mother and teachers, and will take out a Sefer Tehillim to beseech Hashem for His kindness and compassion.

Anyone who has seen her Daven in Shul, recognizes this quality within her.

She takes her time and is careful to articulate every word.

She tangibly feels the presence of Hakadosh Baruch Hu and uses all of her talents to reach and connect to Him.

In addition, she herself mimics the Midos, the attributes of the Ribbono shel Olam.

Mah Hu Rachum, af Hee Rachum.

Just as He is compassionate, so too is Tova compassionate.

Mah Hu Chanun, af Hee Chanun.

Just as He is merciful, so too is she merciful.

Tova will often come along with me to visit someone who is sick or all alone.  

She will accompany me to a Shalom Zachor or a Simchas Bat to keep me company as well as to wish a Mazel Tov to the joyous parents.

If there is a new child in school, Tova will often be the first one to greet and welcome that new student.

If Adina asks for help setting the table, preparing the salad, or assisting with cooking or baking, Tova will often be the first one to volunteer to assist and participate.  

If someone calls me, comes to our home or asks to speak with me privately, Tova will always inquire afterwards if everything is ok with them.

Baruch Hashem, she has a most sensitive and caring heart and she is truly concerned about the health, safety and well-being of other people.

The Ari HaKodesh, the great 16th century Kabbalast of Tzfas, taught that on some level every parent is intoned with some level of Ruach Hakodesh, holy spirit, when they decide upon a name for their child. 

After all, he argued, that a Jewish name reflects a most accurate description of the Neshama, of the soul and very spiritual essence of that human being.  

This teaching is reinforced by the Gemara itself in Masseches Yoma (83b.) 

Rebbe Meir Hava Dayeak B’Shema, “Rabbi Meir would examine a name.”  

Rashi explains that a name often reflects the character of a person.

Based upon this idea, it is a common Ashkenazic practice to name a child after a loved one who has since passed away.

We hope that the child’s actions and behavior will mimic the positive quality traits and attributes of the person whose name he or she now bears. 

With this in mind, Adina and I named each of our children after someone who made a profound impact on our own lives.

Except for Tova!

Dovid (Leib) is named after my grandfather, my mother’s father.

(Paltiel) Ezra is named after Adina’s great uncle.

(Chana) Meira is named after my grandmother, my father’s mother.

And (Menachem) Moshe is named after Adina’s grandfather, her mother’s father. 
 
Each of those individuals were very special and beloved.  They were all extremely proud and devoted Jews.  And they each had various strengths and qualities that we hoped would become part of the personalities and attributes of our children.

When Tova was born, however, we didn’t have anyone to name her for.

We were therefore free to choose whichever name we liked best. 

I more or less left it up to Adina but I gave her two suggestions that I thought were very important.

The first was no Hebrew letter Chaf’s in the name!

After all, I was often frustrated growing up when people, unfamiliar with my name, called me Yekiel, Ya chee el, yeck yel, and who knows what else!  

I, of course, love my name and find it extremely meaningful and beautiful but if I could help prevent this slight discomfort for my daughter, I figured she would appreciate it in the long run. 

The second suggestion, that Adina and I both felt strongly about, was that at least some part of her name should be Biblical.

We felt this was very important.  

To connect her to our Mesorah.  To our history. To our people.

So far we had a Dovid, an Ezra and a Chana.  We, of course, didn’t know it then, but we would also be blessed with a Moshe.

This new beautiful addition, we felt very strongly, should also have a name from our Tanach.

Adina very much liked the name Tova.

I happened to think it was a “good” name as well!

But what about the Biblical name?

Tova was born on the Monday night of Parshas Vaera.

In delineating the family of Levi, we are told that Aharon married Elisheva bas Aminadav (the sister of the future prince of the tribe of Yehuda, Nachshon ben Aminnadav.)

Perfect!

She had great Yichus!

The sister of Nachshon.  The wife of Aharon HaKohen.

All the Maalos!  All the fine attributes.

We don’t know much about the Biblical Elisheva, but presumably, as the wife and sister of such illustrious individuals she must have been a great Tzadekes, a most righteous person.

Perhaps she even had a beautiful voice, was a great dancer, loved to read, was full of energy, and performed wonderful acts of Chessed, of kindness.

Sounds great.

We grabbed the name.

Hence, Tova Elisheva!

But for the past twelve years, I always wondered, is there anything else that we know about her?

And in any way can it shed light on our own (Tova) Elisheva?

I am not sure how I missed it all these years, but this past week, as I was reviewing this week's Parsha of Shemos, I noticed a Rashi who cites a Gemara that suggests a most magnificent and insightful idea into the identity and uniqueness of this most special woman, Elisheva.  

In a most surprising and wondrous way, it perfectly reflects our own Tova Elisheva and perhaps, as well, it can give us some direction during this most tumultuous and unsettling period.

As it records the genocidal directive of Pharaoh that every Jewish boy that was born must be killed, the Torah tells us of the two heroines named Shifra and Puah.

Risking their own lives, these forever righteous women refused to heed Pharaoh’s orders and instead created a system that enabled the survival of the Jewish babies. 

Most of us are familiar with the Rabbinic teaching cited by Rashi, that the two women, as recorded in the Gemara in Sotah (11b) were in fact none other than Yocheved and Miriam, the mother and sister of Moshe.  

There is, however, another tradition that is presented in that same Gemara.

The alternative approach agrees that Shifra was in fact another name for Yocheved.  However, Puah was not Miriam, according to this school of thought, but rather she was Elisheva, the future wife of Aharon!  

And why was she given the alternative name of Puah?

“S’hayesa Poah Lavlad” “She would coo the child.”

Alternatively, “S’hayesa Poah B’Ruach HaKodesh” “She would cry out with the Divine spirit.”

What emerges is that her ability to sing, comforted those around her.  

Through her tenderness, compassion and affection she was able to bring a sense of calm and peace.

Additionally, she was able to spiritually tap into the Divine to plead for salvation and redemption.

Her Ruach HaKodesh enabled her to find a sense of purpose and mission in an environment of uncertainty, confusion and despair.

She had both an inner strength as well as an outer tender persona. 

As she nurtured her relationship with G-d she was also able to nurture those in need.

She created a sense of calm in an otherwise chaotic world. 

In so many ways, our Tova Elisheva reflects these qualities and strengths. 

Through her music and voice she is able to create a sense of tranquility within our home.

By singing and playing songs of hope, yearning and joy she is able to reassure, uplift, and inspire.

Through her devotion, sincerity and faith she demonstrates that we can all find comfort, direction and perspective when we tap into our relationship with Hashem.

With acts of kindness and compassion, she reinforces the notion that we can come together when we focus on supporting, assisting and providing for each other.

During the past twelve years Tova has learned that life is certainly not easy.

Along with all the usual childhood challenges, Tova also has her fair (or unfair) share of medical issues that she must contend with on a daily basis.

It is not easy.

It is not fun.

It often hurts, both physically and emotionally.

But one thing about Tova is that she continues to march forward.

Occasionally with a frown, but mostly with the most joyous, warm and lovable smile.

And that perhaps, is a lesson for each of us, as well as our fellow Americans.

Life is complex.

It is complicated.

There are no easy answers.

There are usually multiple perspectives.

There are often significant differences. 

But can we learn once again to sing?

To recognize that indeed, my country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty.

That the promises, blessings and opportunities of this country are worth preserving and strengthening.

That the often quoted saying of President John F. Kennedy that “what unites us is far greater than what divides us” is most accurate and truthful.

That through the performance of acts of kindness and compassion we have the ability to support and strengthen one another.

That similar to the Biblical Elisheva, we can tap into our own unique spirit and find common values that we can reinforce, uphold and resurrect.

That by lowering the tension and softening the vocal and destructive rhetoric, we can in turn use more calm and measured voices to constructively enage and confront our differing perspectives and approaches.

Now is the time for those in leadership positions in Washington and beyond to set the example of how to work together for the betterment of our citizens.

To learn how to compromise and to demonstrate, that when it is necessary to debate and disagree, that it can be accomplished with respect, tranquility and peace.

As Tova Elisheva enters Jewish adulthood, I hope she, and so many other children similar to her, can set these positive examples to the adults in this country.

We are so much in need of responsible leadership at this time.

What occurred on Wednesday in Washington should never be repeated again.

There is too much at stake.

There is so much on the line.

G-d willing the citizens and the leaders of this country will be able to turn a new page towards a brighter and more promising future.

I know that our daughter, Tova can help lead the way.

Hopefully, we will all follow her wonderful example. 

Adina and I are so proud of her.

We both wish her much Mazel and Bracha moving forward.

In addition, we are most grateful to all of you for being such wonderful role models to Tova and to all of our children.

May Hashem continue to bless and protect Tova, all of us, and our country.

Adina and I, with much gratitude, joy and pride, wish each of you a Shabbos full of meaning, peace and inspiration.

Rabbi Morris