Parshat Chayei Sarah 5779-A time to weep…………………

(based on a shiur from R’Isaac Bernstein zal given in London in 1993)

א  וַיִּהְיוּ חַיֵּי שָׂרָה, מֵאָה שָׁנָה וְעֶשְׂרִים שָׁנָה וְשֶׁבַע שָׁנִים--שְׁנֵי, חַיֵּי שָׂרָה.

1 And the life of Sarah was a hundred and seven and twenty years; these were the years of the life of Sarah.

ב  וַתָּמָת שָׂרָה, בְּקִרְיַת אַרְבַּע הִוא חֶבְרוֹן--בְּאֶרֶץ כְּנָעַן; וַיָּבֹא, אַבְרָהָם, לִסְפֹּד לְשָׂרָה, וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ.

2 And Sarah died in Kiriatharba--the same is Hebron--in the land of Canaan; and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her.

There are a number of observations to be shared on these well-known opening verses of the parsha.

The Midrash refers us to a speech given by R’Akiva, during which his students were falling asleep. In order to wake them he make the connection between Sarah who lived for 127 years and Esther who ruled over 127 countries. What was R’Akiva saying with this comparison?

A second question is raised in terms of the order, in which Avraham first eulogized Sarah and then cried for her. The Talmud states that the normal order of events is first to cry and then to eulogise, so why is the order reversed here?

Also it can be seen that the letter ‘caf’ in the word ְלִבְכֹּתָהּ is written in a smaller form than the rest of the letters. Why?

A final point is to ask why Yitzchak did not eulogise his mother?

An answer to question #1 is found in the sefer Chidushei Harim(a forerunner of Chassidei Gur and a talmid of the Kotzker Rebbe zal). He explains that R’Akiva wanted to give his students a lesson regarding time wasting. He says that R’Akiva was saying that if the students saw every day as the equivalent of a country, and every hour as the equivalent of a town and every minute as the equivalent of a field etc. they would understand that just as property has major value in the physical world, so studying Torah has in the spiritual world and not a minute should be wasted. Another Chassidic master explains this idea from a pasuk in Hallel which says:

יז  לֹא-אָמוּת כִּי-אֶחְיֶה;    וַאֲסַפֵּר, מַעֲשֵׂי יָהּ.

17 I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.

which he translates :’ let me not die while I am alive’ meaning that every minute of life should be ‘living’ time and not ‘dead’ time, whereby the time is wasted and is never retrieved.

The answer to the second question is found in the Netziv’s commentary on Torah , Haamek Davar. He explains that the death of Sarah was such an overwhelming event in historical terms that the immediate need to eulogize outweighed the personal need to cry and mourn. This was a loss for the generation and mourning of a personal nature is second to the public recognition of what was lost when the person died. People had already congregated at Sarah’s home , so ‘hesped’ was the first priority as the matter was very public at this moment. Therefore,’hesped’ for Sarah came before crying, as seen in the parsha.

The issue of the letter ‘caf’ was explained to me by my son, Rabbi Yechiel Shaffer (rav of PJC in Baltimore) who says that the word ‘caf’ means ‘a palm/hand’. When Sarah died the ‘hand of Avraham i.e. what he was able to achieve, was severely limited as Sarah was no longer there to help him in his spiritual endeavors.

The question of Yitzchak not giving a hesped for Sarah is explained by the mefarshim in terms of the purpose of a ‘hesped’. To borrow a phrase, a’ hesped ‘should encompass an ‘overview’ of the whole life of the person who has died and Yitzchak was unable to do this, as he had not known his mother for the first 90 years of her life. Only Avraham could do this justice, in terms of speaking about the life of Sarah from her earliest days to her last moments.

When thinking about the tragic and disturbing events in Pittsburgh last weekend, I am reminded of all the above ideas in discussing this act of pure anti-Semitism directed against innocent Jews in a place of worship. The concept of the importance of time was reflected in the fact that they were together to celebrate a brit and baby naming, whereby we affirm on the 8th day of a child’s life the lifelong sign of being a Jew . Time is a very important element in this ceremony and ‘holy time’ was defiled by this evil act committed against those innocent people.

I am also seeing the need to eulogize the people who died, even before we can gain the ‘composure’ to weep, especially as our shock is so profound  .We are all in shock and are so numb that  some are unable yet to weep. Their deaths mark a terrible happening in the history of the Jewish community in this country and they must be must be eulogized/remembered as is befitting, as they truly died ‘al kiddush Hashem’ for the sake of God’s name in a place of worship on the holy Sabbath.

The diminishing of the ‘hand’ is a message to all the Jews here and beyond, in that we must recognize how interdependent we all are. The ‘politicking’ and in fighting is a manifestation of our negative side as a community, and when Jews die in the way they did, let us think about how all of our ‘hands’ have been diminished and affected by this attack. They died as Jews, not as any one denomination of the Jewish people but as Jews. Period. Our whole community has been diminished by this act.

Finally we need to look at the overview of the events and even though understanding of why it happened is almost always impossible to comprehend, the lessons for us going forward are becoming very clear. The efforts to protect shuls etc must be supported and we must respond in a spiritual way, as Rav Kook zal would have said, with ’ahavat chinam’,doing more mitzvot and more Torah study, to counteract the hatred shown to us. We can rise above this and show our fellow Jews and non-Jews what an incredible nation we really are.

Finally, instead of distancing ourselves from Israel, as many American Jews seem to be influenced to do at present, we must remember that we do have a country that will welcome us with open arms, whether we go there willingly or as a result of experiencing anti-semitism. This is a blessing of the post Holocaust world which we must never take for granted and always encourage the support of Israel in whatever way we can.

Let us pray that no more tragedy befalls us and the merit of our holy ancestors can become an inspiration for us for the future, to greet Mashiach speedily in our days.

Rabbi I. Shaffer           Cherry Hill NJ/SCW     October 2018

Dedicated in memory of the following:

Joyce Feinberg, 75; Richard Gottfried, 65; Rose Mallinger, 97; Jerry Rabinowitz, 66; Cecil Rosenthal, 59; David Rosenthal, 54; Bernice Simon, 84; Sylvan Simon, 86; Daniel Stein, 71; Melvin Wax, 88; and Irving Younger, 69.

May their memories be for a blessing.