Parshat Behaalot’cha 5778-The wedding season greeting

This time of year as we all know is the ‘high season’ for weddings(including Royal weddings) and I would like to suggest an interpretation of a well-known blessing which we always use in terms of Chatan and Kallah and their new life together. We bless them to ‘build a bayit ne’eman beyisrael’(or as I have heard for people planning to make Aliya-be’eretz yisrael). What exactly is this blessing and where is the source?

In the parsha we read about the unbelievable praises of Moshe:

ז  לֹא-כֵן, עַבְדִּי מֹשֶׁה:  בְּכָל-בֵּיתִי, נֶאֱמָן הוּא.

7 My servant Moses is not so; he is trusted in all My house;

Rabbi Isaac Bernstein zal asked as to what this praise actually means? He comments that many ‘toyros’ were said on this pasuk trying to link this praise to the level of prophecy that Moshe achieved, and other such esoteric approaches. He suggested a different approach which is found in the commentary of the Baalei Hatosephot (France/Germany 12th century) which is known as the Moshav Zekanim.

ז') בכל ביתי נאמן הוא. פי' הר׳י לפי (כ)שנאמר ותדבר אד,רן ומרים

על אודות וכר, ואמרו לו למשה שיקח אחרת מיוחסת ויניח זאת שהיא מדינית. ומש ה

לא רצה מאחר שלקחד, כשהיה עני ועתה היה מלך לא רצה לגרשו- ולכן אמר בכ ל

ביתי נאמן

“Prior to this verse the Torah related the negative comments made by Miriam to Aharon regarding their brother. One complaint was regarding his marriage to Zipporah and they felt that she was way below the level of ‘yichus’ which Moshe should have found in a wife, and that he should divorce/leave her and marry another woman. (His reaction to this was amazing) .He responded by reminding them that when they got married he was a refugee from Egypt and had nothing to offer her at the time and nevertheless she married him. Now that he is a ‘King’ in Israel, he is not prepared to abandon her, as his commitment to her was a pure one and not based on external or changing circumstances. For this response God calls him “trusted’ as he is a man of his word……….

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With this beautiful explanation of ‘ne’eman’ as being a person of commitment and moral integrity, it now makes perfect sense why this is a blessing for Chatan and Kallah. When one marries there may be certain situations which prevail which one knows will not continue. The pressures of parnassah and parenthood become very challenging and both husband and wife may feel that this is ‘not what I signed up for’. The blessing to them is that they should always remain true to their initial commitment throughout their lives together. In this way their ‘house’ can be built on the moral values taught to us by Moshe and these ideals become a source of strength for them in both times of joy and in more challenging situations.

Furthermore, Moshe was faithful both to God,  to Torat Yisrael and to Eretz Yisrael, which he was desperate to enter but which was denied to him. Therefore we bless the young couple to have that sense of commitment to these higher values in their marriage and never forget the eternal bond we have to God, Torah and the land of Israel.

May we all merit this beautiful blessing in our lives to build (and continue to build) such a link to the fundamental aspects of what it means to being a Jew in this world.

Rabbi Ian Shaffer        SCW     5778/2018