I couldn’t help but compare and contrast two items in the papers this week, about Jews in the spotlight.

Many of us, although unwilling to admit it, may have read the story in the NY Post about the six-figure bat mitzvah, held in Manhattan’s Plaza Hotel, where Cirque de Soleil performers were just one part of the lavish ‘simcha’ put forth. The rugs were all discarded for new more appropriate ones, since it’s a bat Mitzvah, and the Plaza carpets would not do. The proud mother said this to the NY Post: "Your child works hard, she studies the Torah for a year...My kids have values, and they appreciate what we give them. I don't care if people judge how I spend my money." Plus, she said, unapologetically, "It was a pretty amazing party. You didn't know where to look, there was so much happening in the room. There were contortionists on the ceiling, performers walking on stilts -- it was like going to a show."

I guess she doesn’t mind then that I will talk take liberty to judge how she spends her money.

But contrast this to the 14 year old yarmulke-wearing Edan Pinchot, who keeps on moving forward in the America’s Got Talent competition. A year or two ago, I remember getting an email from the OU with the video from ‘The Jewish Justin Bieber.’ It was a video of Edan playing piano and singing from his suburban Chicago home. After his performance this week, which voted him to the next round, one of the judges, said the following to him. “I think you did a really great job. What I love about you is you’re not a show-biz kid. Unless you’re fooling me, you’re humble, nice and I like that about you. America’s going to fall in love with you.”

Why did Hashem choose to include the story of Balaam in the Torah? Rashi tells us that we proclaim that Hashem did give prophetic powers to non-Jews, and unfortunately, this one squandered his powers. So that may be a message for non-Jews. But what do we Jews take away from the episode?

I think every so often it’s important to learn what others think of you. They may be biased, wrong, bigoted or agenda-driven, but it’s nonetheless a constructive use of one’s time. When I worked in career advancement at YU, we told everyone to google themselves, or to set up a google alert for their name, so they can see what others are seeing. This too is the same thing. What’s written may be false and lies, but it’s important to know.

Balaam tried to find negatives about our ancestors, but simply couldn't. His pronouncements are positive.

One verse jumped at me this year when reviewing the parsha, one that I may not have noticed so closely in the past.

We have Balaam on his way and his ride can feel the presence of an angel, and tries to alert his passenger, but Balaam simply can’t see what a lowly donkey can see. Finally Balaam sees the Celestial Being and responds:

ויאמר בלעם אל מלאך ה' חטאתי כי לא ידעתי כי אתה נצב לקראתי בדרך ועתה אם רע בעיניך ואשובה לי" (במדבר כ"ב:ל"ד)

And Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, I have sinned; for I knew not that you stood in the way against me; now therefore, if it displeases you, I will go back again.

Balaam admits that he was unaware that he stood in the presence of an angel, of a being associated with Hashem  - malach Hashem. The donkey perceived the holiness but Balaam, the one whom Rashi identifies as ‘knowing the mind of the Supreme One’ cannot.

To me this is the gist of so much of this story.

We live our lives, and assume that our powers are ours alone. Later on in D’varim, the Torah warns us to avoid this type of thinking, that our powers brought forth our bounty.

The Long Island mother spent $1,000,000 dollars on a party for her daughter. They are obviously people of means, and I would hope they are charitable. What message do you send to your daughter, when spending that kind of money, when hiring Cirque de Soleil, ruling that the Plaza carpets are not good enough and getting her a Britney Spears outfit?

Think of the message that Laurie and Dov Pinchot, parents of new phenom and teen idol Edan, taught their son? He uses his talents for the OU, he wears his kippah proudly on national TV and he is a regular 14 year old boy in day school in Chicago. You know that win or lose, when this particular judge, known for his narcissism and enormous ego, tells a young man that he is humble and kind, the parents are very proud. They should be. That’s really, I would think, what they want for their son.

The great and talented Balaam was too busy focusing on himself, to notice an angel from God, one that his donkey saw thrice before he did. He was preoccupied with his ego, with lavishing glory, honor and money upon himself. There’s no question that in the long run, you’re focusing on the wrong thing. But even within the interpersonal realm in the here and now, people don’t like ego-maniacs. Some of the most talented stars of sports, cinema, stage and politicians are unpopular because of egos that are uncontrolled, and out of check with reality. People actually root for such people to lose. Why? So they may get it finally, that they are not so great. These are the people who don’t notice the presence of God in our midst.

Edan wears a kippah. I am certain that he could have gotten a leniency to remove it. But he made a decision to wear it. The kippah is worn to remind us of what is above us, that our egos are not greater than God. The judges saw a consistency between his kippah and his attitude. And to hear this from the judge who is so self-absorbed is really amazing!

When Shmuel Yosef Agnon won his Nobel Prize in Literature in 1966, the Israeli media was obsessed with this accolade. Agnon, despite his greatness as a writer, lived modestly and religiously in the Talpiyot neighborhood of Jerusalem. When news spread that he was awarded this prize, the Israeli media, if not world media, descended upon his little apartment in the southern Jerusalem neighborhood. They wanted action pictures of him. Not a man accustomed to such paparazzi and fuss, he welcomed them in to his home. The cameramen wanted a picture of him writing. He sat down at his desk and penned something on a piece of paper. The photo op done, the reporters went home. One astute reporter wanted to see what he wrote, and his findings are the measure of this great man. He wrote five words in Hebrew, taken from the High Holiday liturgy, which was subject of one of his acclaimed tomes. He wrote:

אדם, יסודו מעפר וסופו לעפר

“Man, his essence is from dust and his end is to the dust”

If there were a Nobel Prize for humility, Agnon would have won that too. What a statement from a man at the absolute pinnacle of his career! Shai Agnon was wearing his kippah – that which keeps him balanced - and reminds Him that He is not alone, that there is a God above, and that we have consequences for our actions.

Nothing wrong with spending money on smachot, but this young woman in Long Island had $1,000,000 worth of spirituality to match the money spent. I hope she collected at least six figures to give to those not as entitled or affluent as she is. I hope she wasn’t wearing blinders to the rest of the world, as Balaam did.  

Win or lose, Edan is a hero and an example of what we pray for our kids. To be a mentch and to know in Who’s presence we exist; to know that all of our accomplishments are due to His benevolence. Balaam’s bovine got right what his master couldn’t even notice.

"לא ידעתי כי אתה נצב לקראתי"

I was unaware that you were in my presence.

May such words never be uttered by us or our children. May we always learn from others, and realize that we are lifted up and complemented by those around us. Ignoring them is not only rude and impolite, but leads to the worst sin of all: the sin of arrogance, the essence of Balaam.