The first encounter between Moshe Rabbeinu and Tziporah occurred at a well in Midian, where Moshe drew water for Tziporah and her sisters after they were chased away from the area by local shepherds. Rashi explains (from Shemos Rabbah 1:32) that Tziporah's family was excommunicated by the Midianites subsequent to her father Yisro's rejection of avodah zarah (idolatry), and that this was the reason why Tziporah and her sisters experienced persecution. Whereas Yisro was formerly the leader of Midian, he was now considered as a traitor.

Although we do not know much about Tziporah and her sisters, the episode with Moshe at the well had to be told. Why is this?

The answer seems to be that Tziporah's background was critical to her position as Moshe's wife. Moshe was about to be charged by Hashem to defy Pharaoh and stir up controversy and rebellion by insisting that B'nei Yisroel be freed from bondage. Moshe would assume the position of a courageous, lone pioneer on a very unpopular mission, driven by his belief in Hashem's command, yet largely rejected by society. Moshe was raised in the palace of Pharaoh, and he had been an unofficial member of the royal, ruling family. His mission compelled him to now confront Pharaoh and disavow his association with him and the Egyptian monarchy.

Similarly, Yisro and his family departed from the spiritual norm of their locale. Their total and sincere rejection of avodah zarah thrust them out of a position of leadership and into a role of lone rebels and traitors. Rather than cave in and "go with the flow", Yisro preferred to suffer persecution for his beliefs and hold to them. Tziporah was thereby well-prepared for the position she would fill as Moshe's wife, as her background was the perfect training ground for it. This is why the Torah bothered to elaborate on her experience with the Midianite shepherds and Moshe at the well, as it shed critical light on her background and her suitability for Moshe.

What was Moshe Rabbeinu doing at the well in Midian in the first place? Rashi explains (from Shemos Rabbah 1:32) that Moshe sat at the well with the hope of meeting a spouse there, taking the example of Yaakov Avinu, who met Rochel Imeinu at a well. (We also find that Rivka encountered Eliezer at a well as the beginning of her betrothal to Yitzchak.) Is there any significant relationship between wells and marriage?

A well serves (especially in ancient times) as a source of physical and social nourishment, as its water is necessary for life, and the masses therefore must frequent it; this public congregating naturally leads to social interaction. The practical function of a well is clearly perceived at its surface, but this function is bound to the subterranean, mysterious qualities of the well: the well's water is sourced by means beyond human control, and no one can predict or fully understand the water's flow or the factors for its appearance. A well thus has a very clear, practical quality, which relates to an unclear and mysterious quality - a flow of water that is not readily understood and works undiscernibly beneath the surface.

This is the connection between marriage and wells: while the couple must be compatible on a practical level, it is essential that compatibility exist on the sublime, spiritual level also. Yitzchak and Rivka, Yaakov and Rochel, as well as Moshe and Tziporah entered into marriages that were practical and enduring, but there was an underlying, deeper set of goals and spiritual values that uniquely bound them.

We find this concept in the case of Moshe's siblings as well. Aharon married Elisheva, whose brother, Nachshon, took a bold leap of faith into the sea, as he was the first person to enter the not-yet-split sea upon Hashem's command, although it would appear from a natural standpoint that he would drown. Nachshon had the faith and courage to heed Hashem's word in the face of extreme challenge. Elisheva's relationship with her brother prepared her for marriage to Aharon, who also had to constantly display courage in following Hashem's command in the face of so much opposition and adversity. The same is true of Kalev, Miriam’s husband, who boldly and firmly stood against the ten Spies and risked his life and reputation to defend Hashem’s word, and who merited a leadership position in light of his valor. Kalev’s qualities of confronting wrongdoing and sacrifice for Hashem's Name uniquely suited him for Miriam, who boldly defied Pharaoh's decree against the Jewish males when she was young (v. Rashi on 1:15, 17) and displayed courageous leadership later on as well. (It is further noteworthy that Chur, Miriam's son, was killed for defying the masses who made the Egel Ha-Zahav, the Golden Calf. Surely, he inherited the trait of confronting evil and standing up for K’vod Shamayim [God’s honor] from his valiant parents.)

Shidduchim (matching mates) cannot be based only on practicalities, although the practicalities are of course necessary. We must emulate our great ancestors and consider the other person's underlying and unique spiritual drives and experiences as the foundations for real marital compatibility and growth.