Editor's Note: The following is based upon a private conversation between HaRav Drillman, zt"l and the editor that took place on 13 Sivan 5753 (6/2/93). Many of these ideas are based upon ideas expressed by Rabbeinu u'Moreinu HaGaon HaRav Yosef Dov HaLevi Soloveitchik, zt"l at a Shiur sponsored by the RCA in Honor of HaRav Yisroel Klavan which The Rav gave in June of 1974. A tape of this shiur can be obtained from Mr. Milton Nordlicht of Queens or heard on the Internet at www.613.org. - BGK

Parshas Beha'aloscha is, perhaps, the most confusing and difficult Parshios in the Torah to understand. HaRav Drillman pointed to the difficulty in understanding Miriam's critique of Moshe's behavior and the swiftness with which HKB"H punished Miriam. Furthermore, what is the connection between this incident and the catastrophe at Kivros HaTa'avah when the people complained about their lack of meat? Especially difficult to understand is Moshe Rabbeinu's response to the complaints of the Asafsuf. Interestingly, during the hardest trial of Moshe's rule, that of the Eigel HaZahav, which could have led to the termination of the relationship between the Ribbono Shel Olam and Klal Yisrael, Moshe never despaired. Instead, Moshe resolutely defended his people and , k'vayachol, grabbed the HKB"H's clothes and refused to let go until He forgave Klal Yisroel. In fact, according to Chazal, the tefilloh of "Va'Yichal Moshe" is read on public fast days because it, as opposed to other examples of prayer found in the Torah, emphasizes the strength and energy that is the epitome of prayer. However in the case of Kivros HaTa'avah we find Moshe Rabbeinu displaying a feeling and attitude of frustration not previously seen. Though these complaints are similar to the reasons that Moshe gave to HKB"H why he felt that he was not appropriate to lead Bnei Yisroel they are not the language that we find being used by Moshe one his leadership is confirmed.

One of the things that makes Parshas Beha'aloscha difficult to understand is the apparent lack of continuity in the relating of the stories contained within the Parsha. We know that the Torah is always very meticulous in the way it tells a story and yet in Parshas Beha'aloscha it is difficult to point out how many stories are actually contained in the parsha. In a perusal of the Parsha we find the Parshas HaMenorah, which Rashi HaKadosh tells us is, according to Chazal, in reality part of Parshas Naso as it is a sub-section of the Chanukkas HaMizbeach. According to this approach, the first real episode of the Parsha is that of Kedushas HaLevi'im which is followed by the relating of the second Chag HaPesach that occurred during Klal Yisroel's second year in the Midbar and the laws of Pesach Sheini. However, there seems to be little connection or transition between the section regarding Kedushas HaLevi'im and Pesach Sheini. Why? The next story is that of the cloud that guided the people on their journey through the wilderness followed by the commandment to fashion trumpets and the marching formation of the tribes. The Parsha then tells of Moshe inviting his father-in-law Yisro to join Klal Yisroel on the journey and the section of "Vayehi binsoah HaAron..." which is interesting in that these two passukim are preceded and followed by an inverted letter Nun. According to our Mesorah, the inverted letters teach us that these verses are not being related in chronological order. Rather, these passukim belong at the end of Parshas Pikudei.

The obvious question is why are these passukim not at the end of Sefer Shemos? Finally the ends with the tragedy of the Kivros HaTa'avah and the story of Miriam. HaRav Drillman said that The Rav had been known to say that when he listened to Krias HaTorah for Parshas Beha'aloscha he felt like a bee flying from flower to flower gathering a little nectar at each one. The Rav explained that this Parsha is in fact a depiction of the telling of Jewish History in reverse. In the opinion of Chazal the tragedies that befall Klal Yisroel in Parshas Beha'aloscha are among the most compelling and tragic of all those to befall them. Based upon the words "Ta'avdun es HaElokim al hahar hazeh" the Sefer HaChinuch writes that HKB"H told Moshe Rabbeinu that Yitzias Mitzrayim will be composed of two events. The first event was Matan Torah because following the Ribbono Shel Olam's laws is the most fundamental constant in the worshiping of HKB"H. The second event needed was the construction of the Mishkan which was constructed immediately after Moshe Rabbeinu brought the Luchos down from Har Sinai.

In light of this explanation of the words "Ta'avdun es HaElokim al hahar hazeh" the Cheit HaEigel takes on an even greater importance in the history of Klal Yisroel because due to the Cheit HaEigel the construction of the Mishkan was delayed as Moshe Rabbeinu was required to spend extra time on Har Sinai praying for forgiveness for the people. This delayed the construction of the Mishkan until immediately after Moshe brought down the second set of Luchos and the work was completed on the following Rosh Chodesh Nissan. Once Mattan Torah and Binyan HaMishkan had been completed there no longer was a reason for Klal Yisroel camping in the wilderness.

In Parshas Naso we read the of the korbanos that were brought by the Nesiei HaEidah for the dedication of the Mishkan and the consecration of the Levi'im. Once all the prerequisites for the Mishkan and its service were completed Klal Yisroel was ready to march toward Eretz Yisroel on the 13th of Nissan. However, the Cloud that led Klal Yisroel through the Midbar did not move, postponing the move onward until after Pesach. It was clear to everyone that the stay of the Jews in the Midbar would soon be coming to a close. However, the trip was delayed till after the bringing of the Korban Pesach both during the month of Nissan, and as we later learn, on Pesach Sheini.

HaRav Drillman explained that with such an understanding of the sequence of events, the chronological continuity of the parsha is perfect. Once the Kedushas HaLevi'im, the last event to occur at Har Sinai, was established Klal Yisroel was ready to proceed on towards Eretz Yisroel however it was to close to Pesach so HaShem ordered them to first bring the Korban Pesach. Since Bnei Yisroel was about to begin their journey the Torah tells us the order in which they were to march. The discussion of the signal system and the trumpets was very important as Moshe needed to be able to communicate with the people while they were in the Midbar and while they were traveling.

Moshe and the people were excited and expecting great things as they prepared to enter Eretz Yisroel. HaRav Drillman explained that this mood can be seen in the conversation between Moshe and Yisro. Moshe Rabbeinu tells Yisro "Nosim anachnu...", we are traveling to the land now, using the present tense.

The inverted "Nun's" indicate that something has changed, something is now out of its proper context. Chazal tells us that had the people entered Eretz Yisroel under the leadership of Moshe Rabbeinu we would never have been exiled and the Messianic era would have commenced with Moshe as Moshiach.

What happened? Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing spectacular. Rather the people fell victim to very human emotions. The Torah tells us that this capitulation to their desires was evil and aroused the wrath of Hashem and the resentment of Moshe. Why did Moshe feel discouraged and why did he not pray for the people as he had done previously?

In order to understand this we must look back at the Cheit HaEigel. The Cheit HaEigel was somewhat understandable because the people were overcome with panic at the thought that Moshe would not be returning. The Eigel was meant to be the substitute for Moshe, not an idol to be worshiped on its own. In evaluating the seriousness of one sin over another the motive behind each sin must be taken into account. In this case the difference between idol worship and the adopting of a pagan lifestyle must be taken into account. It is possible for people to live a paganistic lifestyle without idol worship.

A paganistic lifestyle is antithetical to Yehadus because Yehadus demands that we control our desires and not be controlled by them instead. The Torah definition of the Jewish way of life is described in the Parshas HaMan in Parshas Beshalach where the Torah tells us that each person was to gather only the amount of Man that he needed however there were those that collected more than they needed. It was at this point, when the people began to cry out of frustration at their unsatisfied desires, that Moshe realized that he would not enter Eretz Yisroel . It is for this reason that Moshe HKB"H to kill him rather than require him to put up with such a situation.

With this understanding we can now place the prophecy of Eldad and Meidad that Moshe would die in the desert and Yehoshuah would accompany the people into Eretz Yisroel. This also explains "Vayehi binsoah HaAron..." is surrounded by the upside down "Nuns". The triumphal march of Klal Yisroel to Eretz Yisroel becomes a thirty eight year wandering through the wilderness that ended with Moshe Rabbeinu's death.

HaRav Drillman cited an example of such an intuition as we find by Moshe Rabbeinu from The Rav. The Rav said that he, too, felt a similar kind of intuition towards the end of his wife's illness. The Rav stated that throughout the four years that Rebbetzin Soloveitchik was ill The Rav always felt optimistic regarding the possibility that his wife would recover. However, during the last Yom HaKippurim prior to her death, immediately after Kol Nidrei, the Sefer Torah that The Rav had been holding was placed in the Aron Kodesh by one of his talmidim. Suddenly the Sefer Torah slipped and fell inside the Aron. It was then that The Rav realized that his hopes for his wife's recovery were for naught. The Rebbetzin she passed away later that year.

HKB"H selected Moshe to be the teacher and spiritual leader of Klal Yisroel as opposed to a politician or diplomat because the purpose of Yitzias Mitzrayim was not to achieve political freedom for Klal Yisroel but rather Kabbolas HaTorah. However until the case of Misavim Moshe Rabbeinu did not expect that he would have to fulfil the role of an Omein, a nursing mother and of a father. Once he realized that he was indeed an Omein he also realized that he would have to devote his entire life to anticipating the needs of his people and to protecting them. It is for this reason, say Chazal, that he separated from his wife.

Unfortunately, Miriam and Aharon HaKohein were not able to recognize this aspect of Moshe's position. Miriam felt that even though she and Aharon were also prophets they had a normal life with their families. She could not fathom why should Moshe be different. It was for this lack of introspection that Miriam was punished. She should have looked closer at Moshe's role before rebuking him.

We now can understand and appreciate the idea that the events of this Parsha really are one story and that there is, in fact, chronological continuity to the relating of these episodes. This parsha is the description of Jewish leadership and the difficulty involved in completing that job.

The triumphant march of Klal Yisroel to the Promised Land, which could have begun the messianic age, was derailed by those who sought to satisfy their own desires and would not accept the limits of Yehadus. HaRav Drillman taught that this idea can also be applied to Eretz Yisroel in the modern age. There are groups today that look to repeat the experience of the Misavim. However, true Jewish leadership is a Torah leadership that reflects the role of the Omein. Klal Yisroel is a community of children requiring a parent figure. Moshe Rabbeinu, the greatest of all Neviim and the greatest of teachers, thought that he was not qualified to lead the people. The lesson, HaRav Drillman taught, is that though all Torah leaders that are worthy of the title have such doubts they may not cast off the mantle of leadership until they have completed their tafkid, their purpose in this world.