Knowing that each of the four questions personified as the arba banim heralds from the Torah, the Netziv in his commentary to the Haggadah, Imrei Shefer, looks back at the original psukim in his analysis of the source of the confrontation with the ben ha-rasha:

And it will come to pass when your children say to you, ‘What is this service to you?’ You shall say, It is a Pesach sacrifice to Hashem, for He passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt when He smote the Egyptians, and He saved our houses. And the people kneeled and prostrated themselves.

Shemot 12:26-27

וְהָיָה כִּי יֹאמְרוּ אֲלֵיכֶם בְּנֵיכֶם מָה הָעֲבֹדָה הַזֹּאת לָכֶם: וַאֲמַרְתֶּם זֶבַח פֶּסַח הוּא לַה' אֲשֶׁר פָּסַח עַל בָּתֵּי בְנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּמִצְרַיִם בְּנָגְפּוֹ אֶת מִצְרַיִם וְאֶת בָּתֵּינוּ הִצִּיל וַיִּקֹּד הָעָם וַיִּשְׁתַּחֲווּ:

שמות יב:כו-כז

While the Haggadah quotes the question verbatim, the answer deviates from the one offered by the Torah, substituting instead a harsh retort aimed at deflecting the impact of the verbal assault:

… Blunt his teeth and say to him: “because of this Hashem did for me when I left mitzrayim”

וְאַף אַתָּה הַקְהֵה אֶת שִנָּיו וֶאֱמֹר לוֹ: בַּעֲבוּר זֶה עָשָׂה יְיָ לִי בְּצֵאתִי מִמִּצְרָיִם.

The Netziv infers that the Haggadah derives this strategy of response based on the wording of the reply found in the Torah itself, where the expression “v‘amartem” - “and you shall say,” lacks an addressee. If the Torah meant for us to engage the combative pronouncement on its merits, the language of “v’amartem lahem” – “and you shall say to them” works better. Instead, the Netziv believes that the Haggadah bids us to listen for the music of the question—tone and language matter—before deciding whether and how to reply. Insults and imprecations spewing from the cynical mouth do not necessarily justify endless debate.

Nonetheless, despite the lack of direct response to the barbs of the rasha, the reply which appears in the Torah warrants attention. Why does the Torah mention the saving of houses at the time of makat bechorot (“v’et bateinu heetzeel”)? Considering that the Mekhilta teaches that a Jew in an Egyptian house during makat bechorot would be spared even as an Egyptian in a Jewish home would not escape punishment, why does the Torah make the affirmation of our service on Pesach on account of saved houses? The Netziv reads the word bayit in this pasuk as a reference to households, a proverbial reference to family. As a house contains different rooms—respectable and dignified versus degraded and strictly functional—so must a family include different types of people. A complete household both recognizes an array of rooms even as it keeps everyone seated around the same table—and guides the conversation—lest a room of one’s own soon lead to a house of one’s own. At the time of yetziat mitzrayim, but for the merit of a connection to the rest of the family, some of the redeemed did not truly merit their own rescue. Yet, their accompaniment of the rest of the family to make it a “complete house,” permitted their salvation.  The reply in the Torah is where we offer our thanks to the Almighty for saving us as “houses,” despite the ongoing reality of the sometimes fractious relationships. To a People that is not yet redeemed, hearing about the very possibility of these impending conflicts with wayward children is a reason for thanks; it both recognizes the prevalence of the challenges of child-rearing, and instills the hope of ongoing dialogue.

As we go around the table soliciting questions from children eager to learn, the ben harasha spits out the seder with a dismissive challenge. In response, we may throw his fantasy of self-exclusion from the family back at him with the sharp rejoinder that with his attitude he would not deserve redemption alone—but we do not send him from his seat at the table back to his room.