Concept originally presented in 5770

I remember years ago Jay Leno, then the Host of the Tonight Show, quipped during this time of year that “I will be speaking to college graduates this weekend. They will respond, “Would you like fries with that?”

Yes, it’s graduation season. Congratulations to all those who will be graduating this year. It is so heartwarming to attend these ceremonies. We hear youngster after youngster declare that their education is just beginning, that they have so much more to learn, and that they hope that they are prepared to enter the 'real world.'

Although the unemployment numbers seem to be moving in the right direction, our youngsters are entering a difficult job market. So why is it so meaningful to hear youngsters in their late teens and early twenties making such declarations?

I would like to answer by sharing an insight from Rav Yaakov Kamenetzky zt'l on this week's parsha.

In this week's parsha, we read of the nazir, the Nazerite, a man or a woman who takes an oath to refrain from cutting their hair, drinking wine and its products and avoiding ritual impurity. The Nazir is someone who wants to go into a form of seclusion from the effects of society. Divorcing oneself from the malevolence in our midst is quite a commendable act. Yet, by sequestering oneself so far from the mainstream - the golden middle as Rambam puts it - one also avoids the opportunity to learn from society and perform mitzvos for society. For this reason, some, if not most commentaries maintain that the nazir offers a 'sin offering' upon completion of their term.

Rav Yaakov compares the list of deceased relatives a nazir must avoid and those for whom a kohen may defile himself (the Kohen may come in contact with these limited forms of ritual impurity but the nazir may not. We are comparing the lists). The difference, he points out, is that it only mentions children and spouses by the Kohen. Spouses and children are not mentioned at all in the list for the nazir.  

"לאביו ולאמו, לאחיו ולאחתו לא יטמא להם במתם כי נזר אלקיו על ראשו" (במדבר ו:ז)

"For one's father and mother, brother and sister, the Nazerite shall not become defiled..." (Bamidbar 6:7).

Why does the list for nazir not include a spouse and children?

Listen carefully to Rav Yaakov’s incredibly perceptive answer. The individual who takes a Nazerite vow is most likely a teen-ager – someone who is barely an adult. He supports this thesis via a verse in Tanach:

"ואקים מבניכם לנביאים ומבחוריכם לנזרים, האף אין זאת בני ישראל נאם ה'" (עמוס ב:י"א)

“I will provide from your children to the prophets and from your 'bachurim' to the Nazerites; is this not also so, O Children of Israel? – the word of HASHEM" (Amos2:11).

Who is the type of person who is passionate enough to take on a very serious life-change? Someone who does not have the responsibility of supporting a family; someone young and idealistic! The Torah does not mention a wife and children regarding the nazir, opines Rav Yaakov, because he or she doesn't have them. He or she is not yet in that stage of life.

Look at the demographics of those who are out protesting. Youngsters! I see them in Manhattan on a regular basis. I read their social media posts. Who were out protesting the war in Vietnam? Where are the most dangerous and anti-Israel rallies taking place? On college campuses. Why? Because the Torah recognized that youngsters - the type that we fete today upon their graduations - are idealistic. They want to save the world, battle injustice and protect victims.

On the one hand, students entering or even graduating college do not have all the answers. They often do not have all the facts. Taking the uncommon step of avoiding grape products, ritual impurity and haircuts, seems a bit extreme. The Torah understood that these are often phases; as such, the oath of the nazir is considered temporary. While it has a minimum period of a month, it’s inherently has an end. It’s a means, not an end. I would hope that those Baby Boomers who will be celebrating the 50th anniversary of Woodstock next summer, will have outgrown the behaviors from that tumultuous time. It was a phase. Not all moves to the extreme should

So when a child graduates high school and is found in ground zero of that idealistic phase, where do we send them? Most kids go off to college. For many, that idealism and zeal translates into exploring the world and absorbing information. There’s no better time to open one’s eyes to the word. As we well know, others translate that same zeal into illicit activity, and the types of behaviors rabbis shouldn’t even mention. How many teens die annually due to overdosing on drugs or ingesting too much alcohol during pledge week or on other occasions? Too many! One is too many! Our society takes those young minds, those potential bastions of virtue and throws them into a lion’s den.

Do not misconstrue my message as one against college. Let me state very clearly that I am extremely supportive of higher education, college, grad school and beyond. I am the product and beneficiary of that world and am proud of it. In some professions they are necessary, but having the opportunity to explore English literature, the humanities or the miracles of science are endeavors we should all undertake. But the beauty of higher education need not be linked to a culture that may be at times a gigantic challenge to Torah culture and the values of the six figure education our children receive in preparation for the university.

I’m not even taking into account the lopsided political views taught on many campuses and the refusal to tolerate alternative opinions. Isn’t that what higher education is mean to impart? Writing in 2017, we are seeing the institutions who have taught the virtue of freedom of speech denying and even violently protesting different opinions. What has happened to the values of higher education? Where are the voices in the media, whose profession is built on that cherished First Amendment right, to demand freedom of expression, rather than boycotting those who swim against the mainstream? Did the Founding Fathers have some clause written in code that considered differing views worthy of riots and violence?

What do we do? What must we do? We must invite and encourage 18 year old young men and women and let them immerse themselves in Torah study for a year or more. The Orthodox community has been transformed in the past 30 or so years, when it became common for graduates of day schools to spend a year of full-time Torah study in Israel. That year has become a year-and-a-half, two years, and even three years. These students return and for the rest of their lives maintain their commitment to Torah. Can one remain observant without the year in Israel? Of course! I know many fine bnai and bnos Torah who went straight to college from day school. But it’s rolling the dice! Those who attended that critical year in Israel are the people you see learning Daf Yomi on the subway, running to catch a mincha in the middle of the day, and spending hours a week engaged in Torah study. Many of these people are now the leading lay leaders of our community, successful professionals who are able to keep their Torah growth alive.

When a young idealistic 18 year old wants to spend those tumultuous years studying Torah, perfecting their character traits, and soaking up as much Torah as they can because for many, it will represent the last time they can learn Torah full time, we must support them, encourage them and laud them.

I heard a beautiful story about a man who chose not to give his child bar mitzvah lessons because it conflicted with his dance lessons, chess lessons and the like. A friend of this man, a beloved friend, the late Manny Strunin, a’h, whom we lovingly called The Magid of Kovno, sternly told him: ‘your son will not be a professional dancer and he will not be a grand master chess player. But he will be a Jew for the rest of his life. The man heeded Manny’s wise words and gave his son Bar Mitzvah lessons.

When someone so young finds themselves in such an idealistic phase, we must be careful how we counsel them to spend those important years of development. The modern Orthodox day schools are sending most of their graduates to Israel to learn for a year or two after high school. These individuals come back to college as bnei or bnos Torah - with enough strength to withstand the negative influences that are found on campus and at times even in the classroom.

To all you graduates out there. We are so proud of you! Thank your parents for the supreme sacrifice they made to give you this gift, this birthright! Take your zeal, study Torah, and bottle up that energy, because it will need to last you for the rest of your life. So you graduate college at 23? I did. It won't ruin your life. The world is a tough place out there. What will guide you through its labyrinths? What will enable you to go through college maintaining the values your family taught you? What will help you avoid all the challenges to that virtue? Torah! To all of our graduates, Chizku v'imtzu. Be strong and be brave. And there’s nothing wrong with taking a job that pays the bills that may not be your ideal position. And despite the fact that I love fries, I’ll pass!