We have a magnet on our refrigerator: “Nachas is hereditary. You get it from your children.” Being a parent is such an adventure. It’s a true privilege to experience the Biblical stories of our heroes and heroines through the innocent and exuberant eyes of our children. Those of you who know me well know that I’m fond of saying I plan to write a book on topic X or Y. Those variables keep expanding. None have materialized. But lately I’ve been jotting down my kids’ observations and questions on the parshiyos, and have been keeping a running tab since Bereshis. Perhaps one day I will be able to share their insightful questions and provide answers. But this week when discussing the physical description of Esav at his birth, they burst out saying, “Esav is Elmo!,” a red hairy monster.” Not quite Rashi or Ramban, but on target nonetheless.

The detailed portrayal of Rivka’s painful and trying birth of Yaakov and Esav is seen by most commentaries as representing nothing less than an eternal battle between the two brothers, a battle that began in utero, and has not yet subsided. I write with a heavy heart as tragic knews from Otniel has emerged as yet another Israeli has been murdered by evil terrorists, emerging from an entire society bent on evil and lies. While I will focus on the beginning of the parshah, remember that the last verse in the parshah depicts Esav marrying into the family of Yishmael (see Bereshis 28:9). I still remember the terrorist incident in the yeshiva in Otniel that took place almost 13 years ago, where one of the students, IDF Staff Sergeant Noam Apter hy’d gave his life by locking the kitchen door to protect his fellow students who were sitting down to their Shabbat dinner. Three other students perished that Shabbos. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeshivat_Otniel_shooting

Chazal discuss the antipodal world-views, ideologies and weltanschauungs of Esav and Yaakov. The second homily of the Ran (Drashos HaRaN) discusses in detail the opposing word views of the twins of Yitzchak and Rivkah. The Torah records that Rivkah sought out medical or spiritual advice to explain the unbearable pain she was experiencing during her pregnancy. She was told there are two nations in her womb, not merely two babies. As they mature, Esav is depicted as a hunter, a man of the field, while Yaakov is portrayed as pure, or perfect, who passively sits in tents. The discussion must begin with the unique events surrounding their birth and their naming. 

"ויצא הראשון אדמוני כלו כאדרת שער, וירקאו שמו עשו. ואחרי כן יצא אחיו וידו אחזת בעקב עשו ויקרא שמו יעקב, ויצחק בן ששים שנה בלדת אתם" (בראשית כ"ה:כ"ה-כ"ו)

“And the first came out red, all over like a hairy garment; and they called his name Esav. And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esav’s heel; and his name was called Yaakov; and Yitzchak was sixty years old when she bore them” (Bereshis 25:25-26).

These two verses, when parsed, help us understand the underlying difference between Esav and Yaakov.

Rashi identifies two traits pertaining to Esav: his ruddiness and hairiness. In terms of ‘red,’ which also refers to Esav’s future desire for the red beans (see verse 31), Rashi cites the Midrash that identifies red with Esav’s future as a spiller of blood. (King David is also identified as red, but our sages see his spilling of blood not as wanton murder, but regarding the battles he waged. The Navi (Shmuel I 16:12) also defines him as having beautiful eyes). Rashi sees Esav’s hairiness as a sign of physical maturity. I joked with my kids that he was born with a beard, but that may actually be the simple meaning of the verses (see Targum Yonoson). He was named Esav, because it means, ‘completely done, fully-made.’ Ba’al HaTurim sees the red as describing the fact that through his destructive kicking, Esav destroyed his mother’s womb (may explain why Yitzchak and Rivkah only had two children and why Yaakov was holding on for dear life when he emerged). Or hachayim hakadosh identifies red as a color representing immorality and debauchery. Our vernacular sees red as a sign of anger, a trait of Eisav’s portrayed at the end of the Parshah.

Yaakov’s birth doesn’t describe him, per se, but his position. We would not name someone “crying” because that’s what we saw when they emerged into this world. The question everyone asks is the significance of Yaakov grasping his brother’s heel. Rashi provides several answers, all relating a struggle. Some see it as a fight to be considered the first born (there is a tradition that he was conceived first). Most others define it as a battle of ideologies and kingdoms. The word Yaakov is used by Eisav as a verb, connoting subterfuge (Ibid. 27:36). Others point to the heel as that which tramples on fairly insignificant things, thus demonstrating Yaakov’s assigning import to even insignificant items, which describes a heightened integrity and care about other people’s items. Sfas Emes offers a more esoteric answer: Eisav used his hands to harm, maim and covet. A blind Yitzchak knew Eisav’s hands well (Ibid. 27:22). Here Yaakov emerges with his hand making a final play to grasp his brother. He too can use his hands, albeit for lofty purposes, to be the responsible party, the first born. He notes that Yaakov’s descendants would don tefillin on those arms. Rav Hirsch understands the name Yaakov as “he will come behind.” In English we say someone is on the heels of someone else… 

The sages also point out that both parents name Eisav but Yaakov is named in the singular, by God Himself.

All of these tidbits lead me to what I consider the most important distinction between these two world views. Esav is the know it all, have it all, gonna get it all. He needs no more growth: he’s made it. He’s the antithesis of the Mussar movement. Whereas the student at Navordak would declare “ich bin gornisht” – I am nothing, the Eisav Yeshiva’s bumper sticker says ich bin gantz – I am whole. I have no more to learn from anyone. He was a narcissist. This becomes obvious when he asks Yaakov to pour the lentil soup down his mouth, as if he sought a funnel rather than a bowl and spoon. In his most tender moment when he realized that Yaakov beat him to his father’s blessing, he still is focused on himself. Esav represents the ideology of self. I recently heard Rabbi Pesach Krohn speak. He spoke about how the iphone, ipod has turned people inward, but those “i”s are lower case. Paraphrasing, he said, “i need,” “i want” are lower case: “I give”, “I do”, “I help” are uppercase. Esav was the lower case “i”. He is materialistic and self-absorbed. Decisions are made based on the here and now. This is the legacy of Esav. 

Yaakov is different. He is born striving. He is the upper case I. He worked on his middos in his pastoral setting as a shepherd, caring for each and every one of the members of his flock. The Vilna Gaon has noted that the heel is the most insensitive part of the body. A pin prick in that area will not elicit the same acute pain as elsewhere on the body. Yaakov felt it, because he was sensitive. He didn’t worship himself: he worked on himself. He saw himself as imperfect, in need of work, knowing that he owed everything to Hashem. 

In last week’s Daf Yomi, The Talmud (Sota 5a) declares that a scholar should have one eighth of an eight of arrogance. The message is clear: you need some, but don’t overdo it. Many ask why the Talmud doesn’t simply declare 1/64th. What do we learn from 1/8th of 1/8th, other than how to multiply fractions? The Vilna Gaon, as only he could do, provides an unbelievable answer. He said the two eights teach us to seek the answer in the eighth parshah in the Torah (Vayishlach) and look at the eighth verse. Indeed we find:

"קטנתי מכל החסדיםומכל האמת אשר עשית את עבדך, כי במקלי עברתי את הירדן הזה ועתה  הייתי לשני מחנות" (בראשית ל"ב:י"א)

“I have been diminished by all the kindness and by all the truth that You have done Your servant; for with my staff I crossed this Jordan and now I have become two camps” (Bereshis 32:11).

This verse describes the humility of Yaakov and his submission to the Master of the Universe. This verse would NEVER be uttered by Eisav. It would be antithetical to his essence.

We are children of Yaakov, we are B’nei Yisrael. One of the three traits with which the Jewish people are identified is humble (Yevamos 78b). This comes from Yaakov. The antithesis of recognizing anything outside one’s own powers and faculties is Esav. When we act arrogantly we negate our birthright. 

We have so much to learn. We have so many people to thank. We have to say thank you all day to the Ribbono shel Olam who bestows upon us unbridled blessing. Even when tragedy strikes and challenges emerge, we must be grateful and children of Yaakov.