This Shabbos is Shabbos Rosh Chodesh Av, Shabbos Chazak, and the yarzheit of Aharon Ha’Kohen. On Shabbos, we read the double parshios of Matos-Masei, and close the book of Bamidbar once again. The parshios deal with matters pertaining to the readiness and preparedness of the nation to enter into the land of Israel.  

In Matos, we learn of the disturbing request of the Bnei Gad and Bnei Reuven: to remain on ever la’Yarden - the eastern side of the Jordan River. The perek begins with:

מִקְנֶ֣ה רַ֗ב הָיָ֞ה לִבְנֵ֧י רְאוּבֵ֛ן וְלִבְנֵי־גָ֖ד עָצ֣וּם מְאֹ֑ד וַיִּרְא֞וּ אֶת־אֶ֤רֶץ יַעְזֵר֙ וְאֶת־אֶ֣רֶץ גִּלְעָ֔ד וְהִנֵּ֥ה הַמָּק֖וֹם מְק֥וֹם מִקְנֶֽה

“And abundant livestock had the children of Reuven and the children of Gad — exceedingly great — and they saw the land of Ya’zer and the land of Gil’ad, and behold, the place was a place of livestock.” (Bamidbar 32:1).

Midrash Bamidbar Rabbah points out that the first words of the perek are not “The children of Reuven and the children of Gad,” but rather: “מִקְנֶ֣ה רַ֗ב - abundant livestock.” 

Immediately, we are cued in to the fact that the most important asset to these tribes was their wealth (the Medrash elaborates on this point, and Chazal do not view these tribes with favor).

Later in the perek, when these tribes are negotiating the terms of their inheritance on the eastern side of the Yarden - while promising to cross armed before the Children of Israel into Canaan to help with the conquer and conquest of the land - they say to Moshe:

גִּדְרֹ֥ת צֹ֛אן נִבְנֶ֥ה לְמִקְנֵ֖נוּ פֹּ֑ה וְעָרִ֖ים לְטַפֵּֽנוּ — pens for our animals we will build here, and cities for our children (32:16). Once again, their flocks and animals (i.e.: wealth) are placed before all else - even the care of their children!

On these words, Rashi teaches: נִבְנֶה לְמִקְנֵנוּ פֹּה.  חָסִים הָיוּ עַל מָמוֹנָם יוֹתֵר מִבְּנֵיהֶם וּבְנוֹתֵיהֶם, שֶׁהִקְדִּימוּ מִקְנֵיהֶם לְטַפָּם. אָמַר לָהֶם מֹשֶׁה לֹא כֵן, עֲשׂוּ הָעִקָּר עִקָּר וְהַטָּפֵל טָפֵל, בְּנוּ לָכֶם תְּחִלָּה עָרִים לְטַפְּכֶם וְאַחַר כֵּן גְּדֵרוֹת לְצֹאנְכֶם (תנחומא)

They were more concerned about their money, more than their concern for their sons and daughters, for they gave precedence to their animals before their children. And Moshe said to them, This is not so! Make what is primary (your families) primary, and what is secondary (your material wealth) secondary. Hence, Moshe instructed them to reverse the order of what they would do.

Hence, Moshe rebukes them when he says to them בְּנֽוּ־לָכֶ֤ם עָרִים֙ לְטַפְּכֶ֔ם וּגְדֵרֹ֖ת לְצֹנַֽאֲכֶ֑ם, build for yourselves cities for your children, and pens for your flocks (32:24). 

Notably, Moshe instructs them to care for their families before they care for their animals.

This is a lesson, not only for the Bnei Gad and Reuven, but for us as well. Each person must ask himself: what are my priorities in life? Do we make the ikar, ikar, and keep the tafel, tafel? 

While Chazal criticize the actions of these two tribes, they are further teaching us a lesson for our lives as well.

Rabbi Shmuel Goldin writes, “The centuries-old failure of the tribes of Reuven and Gad, in full sight of their intended goal, speaks volumes to us concerning the causes of personal failure in our own lives. We often seem to fall short of our own goals for the same reasons that the two tribes fell short of theirs.

“Mistaken priorities … For many of us, such recognition only arrives in retrospect. Day after day, our drive towards personal success and professional advancement regularly overwhelms our attempts to carve out time for ourselves and our families. Whatever scarce downtime we do have is marred by the demands created by instant accessibility. We become as available as the closest handheld device, expected to answer an e-mail, text or call, under all circumstances and at a moment’s notice. [We must note if this was true when Rabbi Goldin penned these words almost fifteen years ago, what shall we say today…?] In spite of our good intentions, we inevitably find ourselves giving ‘pens for our livestock’ precedence over ‘cities for our children.’

“To compensate for this lack of availability to our families, today’s society has popularized the notion of ‘quality time.’ Quality, we reason, is better than quantity. I can’t be with my family often but I can at least ensure that the limited time we spend together is filled with value and experience.

“While such planned experiences are certainly worthwhile, however, what our loved ones need most from us is not quality time, but time, period… Given that we cannot predict which moment of our shared lives will be important, the better part of wisdom dictates that we optimize our opportunities. The more time we spend in the company of those we care about, the greater the chance that we will be there when it matters” (Unlocking the Torah Text, Bamidbar, p.314-315).

The frenetic pace of our modern world is more demanding on our time than ever (in the history of mankind!). We must be ever-more cognizant to be mindful, present, and attentive in our interactions with others - and certainly, must always strive to put “cities for our children,” before “enclosures for our livestock.” 

By giving our time, attention, resources, interest to our loved ones, we are demonstrating to them - and to Hashem - that we focus on the ikkarim in life. In this merit, may Hashem continue to bless us with His boundless blessings, as we utilize our (limited time in this world) time wisely and well.

בברכת מנחם אב ושבת שלום