The Torah records that upon the second visit of Yosef’s brothers to Mitzrayim, Yosef hosted them for a most lavish and festive feast. This seems odd, as all other actions and communications on the part of Yosef toward his brothers during their visits to Mitzrayim, before he revealed his identity, consisted of chastisement or harsh challenge and confrontation, as part of his scheme to cause his brothers to do teshuva. As such, why did Yosef see fit to share a celebratory feast with his brothers? In light of the fact that immediately at the end of the feast, Yosef instructed that his goblet be hidden in the sack of Binyomin and that his brothers be pursued and accused of theft, it seems very strange that Yosef would have provided a feast where “they drank and became inebriated with him” (Bereshis 43:34), all along while planning to suddenly turn against them, as it were (for the sake of precipitating their teshuva), by having his goblet hidden and the brothers chased and accused of criminal activity. Why did Yosef provide a break in the scheme of testing and chastising his brothers, by serving and rejoicing with them at a feast?

We can perhaps glean some insight into exactly what transpired, based on an interpretation of Chazal as invoked by Rashi (ibid., from Bereshis Rabbah and Gemara): “They drank and became inebriated with him” – “From the day that Yosef was sold, neither the brothers nor Yosef drank wine, yet on that day, they drank.”

Drinking wine reflects simcha, and abstention from wine is identified with sorrow and mourning. As such, why did Yosef and his brothers partake of wine when they dined together at the feast? The brothers were not aware at that time that Yosef was still alive and that their father would again see him, and nothing had occurred to alleviate the pain and misery that was caused by Yosef’s sale and disappearance. Why then were Yosef and his brothers able to drink wine and forget about their woes and the haunting memories that had become part of their lives, which had prevented them from consuming wine for the past 22 years?

The answer may be that although Yosef’s identity was not yet known to the brothers when they all dined together, Yosef's and his brothers' personalities reunited and rejoiced together at that feast. Yosef and his brothers at last joined and experienced simcha as brothers, sharing the natural feelings of brothers and the joy of brothers being together - even though the brothers were unaware that they were with Yosef. This sense of simcha, of unity, of inner camaraderie and feeling as one that only brothers can share, was absent for the past 22 years (or longer), yet it was restored when Yosef and his brothers feasted together. The innate, inherent and natural emotions evoked by Yosef and his brothers being together in comfort and simcha, without inhibitions or resentment, enabled them to once again imbibe wine and feel whole. When the brothers shared the feast with Yosef, they attained a unique sense of brotherhood with their anonymous host, shedding all latent feelings of apprehension and anxiety at the loss of Yosef - precisely because their and Yosef's personalities clicked and united at that juncture, and the pain and sorrow were thus for the time vanquished.

By rejoicing with his brothers at the feast, Yosef cleverly set the stage for their teshuva and their future relationship with him. Had Yosef not shown his brothers that they could in fact all feel as one together, with warmth, camaraderie and love, absent any animosity, the brothers' teshuva would not have precipitated true rapprochement and would have been incomplete in the grand scheme of things. Had the brothers not experienced that they could truly enjoy being with Yosef and act with him as a brother, they would have eternally harbored feelings of great resentment toward him, irrespective of doing teshuva and repenting for his sale and mistreatment. The brothers would have done teshuva for having sold Yosef, but they would always have felt that he really was someone whom they could not tolerate, who made trouble for them without cause, who could not act like a brother; they would have regretted having sold him solely because it was cruel and caused their father such misery, but they would not ever have been at inner peace with Yosef. Thoughts such as, "We were wrong to have sold Yosef, but in truth he really did deserve it, and we still don't like him, cannot get along with him and would have been better off without him", could have been very real sentiments. Without realizing that they could love Yosef and feel as one with him, the brothers' teshuva would have been pragmatic and compelled by the circumstances and by the dire results of their prior actions; their teshuva would not have led to a loving reunification with Yosef and a united House of Yaakov. The brothers’ teshuva would have precipitated expiation for their actions and brought relief to Yaakov Avinu, but it would not have led to greater things that would change them. Realization of what Yosef, and what any brother, means to his siblings, would not have been achieved.

Yosef therefore had to use his only opportunity - while his brothers were most literally a captive audience, and he had not yet revealed his identity - to show them that they indeed could enjoy his company and unite with him as a brother. Once Yosef was able to impress this upon his brothers, he proceeded to complete the scheme and put forth the test that set the stage for their teshuva, instructing that his goblet be hidden in Binyomin's sack and threatening to keep Binyomin as a slave, which placed the brothers in a position to this time have mercy upon a younger brother who appeared to be favored, by stepping forward to save him at all costs and suppressing feelings of jealousy or animosity. And then, after the brothers would pass the difficult test set forth by Yosef, would his revelation of his true identity result in a loving reunification with his brothers, due to the taste of loving brotherhood that Yosef enabled the brothers to experience with him at that propitious and grand seudah.

We learn many incredible lessons from the story of Yosef and his brothers, including that one should never deal with others from a position of preconceived notions and bias. By hiding his identity at the feast, Yosef enabled his brothers to enjoy being with him for whom he was. Former images of Yosef causing the brothers irritation and evoking jealousy were kept away; the brothers were able to experience Yosef as a person who was markedly different than the way they had otherwise viewed him. Although we cannot and must not overlook deleterious character traits of those with whom we interact, we can and should dismiss and see beyond preconceived notions of people and connect with them for whom they really are, as did Yosef and his brothers at that providential feast.