Yizkor- a personal reflection

Along with many others, I grew up in a home where the Yizkor days were held in some sort of ‘mystique’ status and the attendance in shul for the people saying Yizkor was mandatory, even for those who may not have attended as a regular habit on other days in the year. I often asked myself why this was so, and as I have grown older and, possibly, a little wiser, I am beginning to understand the deeper level of this practice, which many Jews saying this prayer may never have realized. Yizkor means to ‘remember’ and the very act of remembering begs the obvious question: to what purpose? Why?

Rabbi Moshe Sherer   zal, the great spokesman for Agudas Yisroel in the USA, once commented that we are described  as a ‘nation’, in two ways. On Friday night we are called ‘am medushnei oneg’ which means that we take pleasure in the joys of Shabbat observance and in our close relationship to God. We are also called by the Navi  Jeremiah ‘am seridei charev’ ,which means ’the nation of the remnants of the sword’. This is a reference to our connection to our painful history of torment and suffering.  Many Jews today define their Jewishness in these painful remembrances without any connection to true Jewish observance and practice.

Rabbi Sherer asked as to which type of description is more positive and productive for the future? His answer was obviously the first reference. He explained that this type of Jew produces a vibrant Judaism, full of joy and hope, constantly growing in our beliefs and connection to God. The second type of Jew has a Jewish ‘identity’ but this may not transmit to a future generation who did not experience the suffering which he/she personally went through.

I have come to realize that our task in the act of Yizkor  is(and always was) to make the remembering ‘positive’, to celebrate the great Jewishness of those loved ones we are memorializing today. We must take their positive example and transmit this to our children and beyond, so that the remembering becomes a ‘tour de force’ in their lives. The pain of suffering is always important to contemplate but at this time of Yizkor let us all make the commitment to keep the future generations connected to our traditions. Our act of remembering can then produce ‘fruits’ both for ourselves and the future of our special nation and its role in making the world a better and holier place. Let us cry for our loved ones and mix tears of joy/pride into those tears of sadness, as we remember the dedication of those earlier generations to keep our heritage alive. Let us all be blessed to become ‘am medushnai  oneg’ in our Jewish lives and to make the act of remembering as positive as we can.                                                

Rabbi Ian Shaffer  Tishrei 5775