It is the dawn of a new age.  In this week’s Parsha we begin to the see the transition from the era of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs to the era of the Tribes and the beginnings of the Nation of Israel.  Together with his wives, Rachel, Leah and their maidservants Bilha and Zilpa, Yaakov continues to build upon the foundation of his father and grandfather.  However, Yaakov’s familial circumstances are far from idyllic.  There is tension in the household.  This is most clearly expressed in Leah’s naming of her children: “32. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she named him Reuben, for she said, "Because the Lord has seen my affliction, for now my husband will love me." 33. And she conceived again and bore a son, and she said, "Since the Lord has heard that I am hated, He gave me this one too." So she named him Shimon. 34. And she conceived again and bore a son, and she said, "Now this time my husband will be attached to me, for I have borne him three sons; therefore, she named him Levi (Genesis 29:32-34).”

Leah desires to be close to Yaakov.  She desperately pines to be the favorite.  She knows that she was not his desired spouse, she knows the intensity of love shared between Yaakov and Rachel and she yearns for that as well.  With the birth of each child Leah secretly hopes that this will be the event that creates marital closeness with Yaakov. 

Leah is then blessed with another child:  “And she conceived again and bore a son, and she said, "This time, I will thank the Lord! Therefore, she named him Judah, and [then] she stopped bearing (Genesis 29:35).”

It is interesting to note that Yehuda’s name makes no mention of her pain or desire for Yaakov’s attention.  The first three children’s names all reflected this anticipatory desire for greater marital connection and yet now she utters just a simple statement of gratitude to God.  What has changed?

Rav Shimon Schwab (1908-1995) explains this profound transformation in one word, acceptance.  Leah spent the first few years of her married life in incredible pain over her second tier status in her marriage.  Yaakov loved Leah as the Torah states, “… and he also loved Rachel more than Leah … (Genesis 29:30) – he just loved Rachel more.  For there to be harmony in a marriage a wife must know that she is the most important entity in her husband’s life.  Leah knew she was loved, she knew Yaakov cared for and would always take care of her but she knew that she was not the most important person in his life.  Leah’s pain is so profound that it is reflected in the naming of her children.  At a time of incredible joy, all Leah feels is pain.  But then something changes.  Leah realizes that the circumstances of her life are not going to change.  Rachel is and will always be the love of Yaakov’s life.  And so, Leah Imeynu has a choice.  Either spend all of her emotional energy yearning for something that will not be or devote herself to maximizing her current circumstances despite the fact that they are not optimal.  Leah chooses the later.  Leah chooses to accept her circumstances and realizes that although, she may not be the primary wife, she will be the dominant matriarchal influence within the Abrahamitic family.  The future kehuna (priesthood from the tribe of Levi) and monarchy (from the tribe of Yehuda) will emanate from her.   When Yehuda is born, Leah has already accepted the reality of her circumstances and her new role.  As a result of this acceptance, Leah is finally able to appreciate the beautiful life blessings God has conferred upon her.

We start out with a vision of how we expect life to turn out.  We have dreams and when we close our eyes we see how each of those dreams will materialize.  Sometimes, they do.  But more often than not, life does not turn out the way we expected.  Life does not always go according to plan.  Whenever possible we must exert incredible effort to bring our dreams and life vision to fruition.  However, there are moments when we must accept that the life that we wanted is not the life that we have.  And it is in those very moments we must make a decision.  Will I spend all of my energy lamenting that which is not or will I devote myself to maximizing that which is?  There is beauty, meaning, fulfillment and holiness in every life situation I just have to roll up my sleeves and devote myself to discovering it.