Learning How to Daven: Yitzchak, Rivka, and our Children

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November 24 2011
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The Torah writes: "Yitzchak entreated Hashem opposite his wife" (Bereishit 25:21). Rashi observes that the Torah emphasized that Hashem specifically accept Yitzchak's prayer despite the fact that both he and Rivka had prayed. Rashi explains that the prayer of the tzaddik child of a tzaddik is greater than the prayer of a tzaddik child of a rasha.


I always found Rashi's comment perplexing. Why should Hashem discriminate against Rivka's prayer and prefer Yitzchak's simply because Rivka's father was a rasha?


There are two basic components to tefilla. It is referred to as avodah shebalev - service of the heart. On the one hand the most important part of tefilla is the connection of our heart with Hashem. Without the awareness transcendental in our heart that we are standing in front of G-d, our prayer is nothing at all.


At the same time, the expression of the heart is also referred to as an avodah - a G-dly labor. Tefilla is not simply an emotional expression but also a service that requires years of work and direction from those who have attained meaning and closeness in their encounter with G-d.


The Chassam Sofer (Responsa) writes that praying at kivrei tzaddikim is a great virtue, however praying with a living tzaddik is even greater. I believe that this notion is not only a kabbalistic one but also a reflection of the reality that tefilla is not only a spontaneous expression of closeness to G-d but a learned avodah that one is constantly growing in. Being surrounded by someone who has become great in his avodah shebalev is an important component in growing in our avodah shebalev.


This may be an important reason why Yitzchak's prayer was "greater" than Rivka's.   Yitzchak was exposed to the serious prayer of Avraham Avinu which improved his own prayer. In contrast, Rivka was exposed to avodah of avodah zara. Of course, our tefilla does not come close to Rivka's, but Yitzchak due to his exposure to Avraham had the opportunity to spend more time working on this avodah.


This can be an important lesson in teaching our children about tefilla. Over the years, my heart has broken as I have watched from a distance while fathers "forced" their children (either physically or verbally) to daven. On the one hand, tefilla is not only a voluntary emotional expression but is also an avodah. At the same time, the best way to learn the avodah is to simply be exposed to people who excel in this avodah. The modeling is a perfect form of education while coercion is almost always counterproductive.

Venue: Yeshivat Netiv Aryeh Yeshivat Netiv Aryeh

Parsha:
Toldot 

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    Learning on the Marcos and Adina Katz YUTorah site is sponsored today by Judy & Mark Frankel & family l'ilui nishmos מרדכי בן הרב משה יהודה ע"ה and משה יהודה ז"ל בן מאיר אליהו ויהודית