Feeling the Pain and Joy of Others

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January 27 2011
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There is a dispute between Rashi and the Ramban whether the pasuk:"you shall not cause pain to any widow or orphan" (Shmot 22:21) applies specifically to a widow and orphan, or to any Jew.  One who causes pain to a widow or orphan is certainly deserving of punishment.  The Torah tells us what that punishment will be: "My wrath shall blaze and I shall kill you by the sword, and your wives will be widows and your children orphans" (ibid. 23).  The punishment for bringing pain to a widow or orphan is very severe.  The Gemara explains that punishment will not only be that they will be killed but that there will not be anyone to witness this death.  This would result in his wife not being able to remarry, and the children not receiving any inheritance - a punishment even more painful than being widowed or orphaned.

What type of pain does the Torah refer to when it says: "if you dare to cause him pain" (ibid. 22)?  At first glance we would have thought perhaps one who hit a widow with a stick, or stole some land from orphans.  Chazal, however, provide us with a totally different interpretation.  When the Romans took R' Shimon ben Gamliel and R' Yishmael Kohen Gadol, two of the ten martyrs, out to be killed, R' Shimon ben Gamliel began to cry.  R' Yishmael did not understand why he was crying, for he was on his way to eternal life where he was destined to sit and study Torah with all the righteous people.  R' Shimon ben Gamliel was bothered by the fact that he did not know what specific sin sentenced him to be killed, and he therefore did not know what to repent for.  R' Yishmael asked him whether it ever happened that someone came to see him and he told them to wait until he either finished eating or putting on his shoes.  When the Torah forbade us to inflict pain upon others, it meant even the slightest bit.  R' Shimon ben Gamliel accepted this as a reason why he deserved to die by the sword of the Romans.

The Sabba M'Slobodka HaRav Nosson Zvi Finkel zt"l asked why Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel was considered as having inflicted pain upon the woman by having her wait those few extra moments.  Was it not a great honor for her to be in the house of the head of the Sanhedrin?  Surely this honor offset any harm the waiting may have caused.   Why then was Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel punished for this?  In spite of any good feeling she had from being in the house of Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel, perhaps having to wait for him meant her being late to another appointment, perhaps she was anxious about arriving home in time to feed her children.  This slight pain she felt was enough to pronounce a death sentence upon the head of the Sanehderin.  Hashem is very strict when it comes to causing pain to the widow or orphan.

There are many stories of the sensitivity with which Gedolei Yisrael over the generations have shown to widows and orphans.  The story is told of R' Yisrael Salanter (see "Tnuat HaMussar" volume I, chapter 31) that one year he was unable to be present at the baking of his matzot.  His students who took upon themselves to oversee the baking in his absence, asked him for guidelines regarding which hiddurim they must be especially careful to insist upon.  R' Yisrael asked that they take care not to cause undue pain and aggravation to the woman kneading the dough by egging her on to complete her work sooner - even in the name of being more careful and fastidious in carrying out this mitzvah.  R' Yisrael explained that this woman was a sad and unfortunate widow and such behavior would violate the Torah commandment - "you shall not cause pain to any widow or orphan" (Shmot 22:21). There is no question that R' Yisrael did not wish to eat chametz on Pesach, yet he realized that one must pay attention to this widow as well - not to pain her by urging her to complete her work the way the "taskmasters" did in Egypt (see Shmot 5:13).  A Talmid Chacham keeps this in mind as well, together with the great care required to avoid having chametz on Pesach.
 
HaGaon HaRav Sholom Schwadron zt"l once spent his Pesach Seder at the home of a widow.  He was generally very careful to eat the afikoman before chatzot (midnight).   Chatzot was fast approaching and it did not appear that they were in any hurry to eat the afikoman.  Someone whispered to the Rav that perhaps they should ask the hostess to proceed at a faster speed in order to be able to eat the afikoman before chatzot.  Rav Sholom answered emphatically: "don't you see how much joy this woman receives from hearing what her sons learned in cheder and in Yeshiva?   Are you asking me to detract from her simchat Yom Tov which is a mitzvah from the Torah in order that I should be able to eat my afikoman before chatzot?"

R' Chaim Zonnenfeld zt"l, the Rav of Yerushalayim, was once approached with the following question: a man who had served as chazzan for his shul on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur died and they wished to know whom they should appoint as his replacement. R' Chaim, knowing that the deceased chazzan's son had talents similar to his father and in addition was a yarei shamayim, suggested that the son serve as the next chazzan of the shul.  It was then respectfully pointed out to R' Chaim that the son was in the midst of the year of mourning for his father and it is customary that one in mourning not serve as chazzan on Yomim Noraim.  R' Chaim responded that the widow of the deceased chazzan was planning to be in shul and it was going to be difficult enough for her to be present having to listen to her husband's replacement.  The least they could do was to provide her with some joy and comfort at hearing her son continue in his father's footsteps.

It was known that the Rav (HaGaon HaRav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach) zt"l also was very careful in the way he acted towards widows and orphans, trying to bring them as much joy as he possibly could.  The Chazon Ish was in Bnei Brak during World War II when a group of girls had arrived alone.  They were placed in a home, many had no idea what became of their families and those who did know perhaps they would rather not have known.  Their hearts were broken.  One of the girls became engaged to be married at which point her friends began to dance and sing in her honor.   A man happened to enter the house while they were singing.  He told the Chazon Ish that he did not think it was proper for the girls to sing like that.  The Chazon Ish responded: "wow, they are singing, thank G-d they feel able to sing."

The Torah wishes for us to feel the plight of the other person.  Rashi writes that when we give a loan to a poor person we should try to feel what it is like to be poor.  This means that we must lend the money not only with our hands but with our hearts as well.  This is the meaning of not paining the widow and orphan - to try to feel for their plight.
 
This week's parsha opens with: "And these are the ordinances that you shall place before them, if you buy a Jewish slave ..." (Shmot 21:1).  The Torah then proceeds with the myriad laws contained in our parsha.  My father-in-law z"l used to ask why the Torah begins this long list of mitzvoth with laws concering the Jewish slave? Is this the most urgent mitzvah that needs to be taught?   Secondly, the mitzvah was not destined to apply for several years.  The laws of the Jewish slave only apply in the land of Israel and when the laws of the Jubilee year apply.  Not only were they destined to wander in the desert for another forty years, it would take seven years to capture the Land from the other nations, and seven more years to divide it up. 
The Jewish people may not have been aware that these laws would not apply for another fifty four years, but Hashem certainly knew that.  If so, why the urgency to teach them this mitzvah at this point?

Even more puzzling, as my father-in-law pointed out, is that this was not the first time the Jewish people were informed of the laws concerning the Jewish slave.  The Yerushalmi comments on the pasuk: "Hashem spoke to Moshe and Aharon and commanded them regarding the Children of Israel and regarding Pharaoh" (Shmot 6:13), that Hashem was telling Moshe and Aharon that just as Pharaoh must free his slaves, so should the Jewish people.  The laws of freeing a Jewish slave were already given in Egypt.

One finds something even more fascinating in the Haftarah for Parshat Mishpatim.  The subject of the Haftarah is the freeing of the slaves.  The prophet tells the Jewish people the following: "I sealed a covenant with your forefathers on the day I took them out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slaves, saying" (Yirmiyahu 34:13). One would have expected the pasuk to be punctuated as follows: "from the land of Egypt from the house of slaves", without any punctuation mark separating "the land of Egypt" and "from the house of slaves".  The taam on "meEretz Mitzrayim", however, is a zakef katon which is a taam mafsik - a pausing, separating note.  This would serve to separate what is before "meEretz Mitzrayim" from what follows, rather than "from the house of slaves" being a description of the situation in Egypt.  The implication here is that the Jewish people are being taken out of the land of Egypt and also from the house of slaves.  Hashem commanded us regarding freeing slaves not only because we were in Egypt, but also because we were slaves - these are two different reasons.

This commandment was specifically given while we were still slaves.  Only a slave understands what it means to constantly have to experience avodat perech, backbreaking labor.  After our exodus, we had already had sufficient time to recover from the terrible bondage in Egypt, and could no longer identify with the slave.  One who understands what it means to be a slave will not act towards him in a cruel fashion.

Chazal offer several definitions of the term avodat perech.   One of these definitions is to give someone work that has no practical value - rather simply for the sake of breaking the slave.  Chazal tell us that the two cities built by the Jewish slaves, "Pitom" and "Ramses" were given their names for the following reasons:  "Pitom" because "the mouth of the deep swallowed up one building after another" (i.e. "Pitom" is from the words "pi tehom" - the mouth of the deep) and "Ramses" was thus called because: "one building after another collapsed" (i.e. the word "Ramses" is from the word "mitroses" - to collapse) (Sotah 11a).  The work that the Egyptians gave to the Jewish people was of no significance to the Egyptians.

"Avodat perech" can also mean work one is not accustomed to.  The Egyptians gave work normally done by the women to the men, and work normally done by men to the women.  Here again productivity and monetary gain were not the goal.  Another definition, is giving someone work without any specified limit.  It is forbidden to tell a worker to "continue working until I return from the field", even if he is planning to return in only fifteen minutes.  On the other hand, he may tell him to continue working until sunset, even though that may be several hours away.   If one does not know when and if his work will end, he can become mentally distraught - this is much more severe than breaking someone physically.

Only one who worked "avodat perech" in Egypt can appreciate some of the laws concerning treatment of a slave.  It is for this reason that the commandment was issued immediately following the exodus.  The Torah was given in the third month following the exodus, when the impressions of slavery were still fresh in the mud of the nation.

Similarly, the Torah commands us: "Do not oppress a stranger; you know the feelings of a stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt" (Shmot 23:9).  The people willfully accepted this Mitzvah because they remembered what it was like to be a "ger" in Egypt.  Only one who appreciates the great difficulty of the "ger" can act towards him in a kindly manner.

The next pasuk states: "six years shall you sow your land and gather in its produce, and in the seventh, you shall leave it untended and unharvested" (ibid. 10-11).  Are not the laws of the Sabbatical year spelled out in Parshat Behar, of what relevance are they in this context?  Perhaps a look at the continuation of the pasuk can shed some light on this question: "and in the seventh, you shall leave it untended and unharvested, and the destitute of your people shall eat, and the wildlife of the field shall eat what is left" (ibid. 11).  In actuality, the halacha states that produce from the Sabbatical year may be eaten by anyone, not only the poor.  If so, why did the Torah single out "the destitute of your people" as those who may eat from it?

The answer is that a poor man is used to gathering his food from the fields.  One who is not poor, is not used to getting down on the ground to collect his food.  During the Sabbatical year, each and every Jew is treated as a poor person, having to scrounge around to collect his daily bread.  The Torah is giving us an insight into the reasons behind the laws of the Sabbatical year.  We know what it feels like to be slaves and strangers, for we went through the experience.  How are we to know what it means to be poor and destitute?  The mitzvah of Shmitta provides us with a taste of that life.  A poor man is totally dependent on what grapes and figs he may find in the field, as he is dependent on others.   The Torah wants us to relate to the difficulties of the poor man, it is for this reason that although we all may partake in the food from the Sabbatical year, the poor and destitute are specifically mentioned.

HaGaon HaRav Eliyahu Chaim Meizel zt"l was the Rav of Lodz. One frigid blustery night, he knocked on the door of a wealthy townsman.  When the man opened the door to his guest Rav Eliyahu Chaim pushed it wide open and standing in the open doorway began to converse with the man.  How are things?  How is your wife?  What's new with your children? What's doing in business?  While the icy winds penetrated the cozy warmth of the house and the rich man stood shivering in the bitter cold, R' Eliyahu Chaim continued to stand solidly by the open door engaged in conversation.  The man finally gathered up the courage to suggest to his visitor: "why does the Rav not come into the house and I will be glad to answer all his questions?" R' Eliyahu Chaim responded that he was collecting for a fund to provide heat for poor families.  He explained that only when a man could identify with their suffering would he give generously.  So long as he sits in his warm house, he is not able to feel the bitter cold that the poor have to live with every day, and thus his contribution will be minimal. Perhaps if his body feels the cold, this will warm up his heart and he will be more generous.  His mind may understand the difficult conditions of the poor people must be living under, but that is not enough, a person's heart must understand as well!
 
The Torah wishes for us to feel the plight of the other person, not only with our intellect but in our heart as well.  This week is Shabbat Mevorchim Adar Rishon.  Although Purim is observed in the second Adar, perhaps we can relate the Purim festivities to our discussion.  The Rambam writes that although there is a mitzvah on Purim to have a festive meal which includes eating meat and drinking wine, there is an even greater mitzvah to give mishloach manot and provide our neighbors and friends with the needs for their seudah.  The Rambam continues that the greatest of all the mitzvoth of Purim is matanot laevyonim - better to give more to the poor even at the expense of giving less mishloach manot and having a more modest seudah.  It is a great simcha for Hashem when the poor people are provided for.

For English speakers we can find an allusion to this in the Megillah.  The Megillah writes that the name Purim was chosen "al shem hapur" referring to the lottery.  If we spelled it "al shem hapoor" then the name would be alluding to the requirement to give matanot laevyonim.  The great significance of the mitzvoth of mishloach manot and matanot laevyonim stem from the fact that Haman described the Jewish people as being: "scattered abroad and dispersed among the peoples in all the provinces" (Esther 3:8) - there was no unity.  The mitzvoth of Purim are aimed at creating this sense of unity, instilling in us the idea that our joy is not limited to ourselves but requires providing joy to others. 

This is the joy Hashem wants us to have and this is how we can emulate His ways.  Hashem only gives, He does not take anything from us.  Man of course must take from this world - the moment a baby is born he requires air, milk, and then food.  As far as possible we should try to emulate Hashem.  This is the mitzvah of Purim - to feel true simcha which involves not only feeling joy ourselves but providing joy for others.  This is also the message of Parshat Mishpatim.

Venue: Yeshivat Netiv Aryeh Yeshivat Netiv Aryeh

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