"YOU SHALL NOT BEAR A GRUDGE"

The Torah commands us "You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge against the members of your people" (Vayikra 19:18).  Although it is often quite difficult to restrain ourselves from taking revenge it is within man's ability to do so (See Mesillas Yesharim chapter 11).   How though can we be expected to refrain from bearing a grudge?  A grudge is an emotion.  How much control can we assert over our emotions?

Not bearing a grudge is related to not remembering the way others have slighted us.  While memory is also a function of the heart and mind, we avail ourselves of certain aids to assist us in fulfilling mitzvoth requiring us to remember.  For example, there is a positive commandment to remember the exodus from Egypt.  We fulfill this commandment by making mention of it every morning and evening, and elaborating on it further at our Seder table.  The Rambam writes that when we recite Kiddush at the onset of Shabbos we fulfill the Mitzvah of remembering the Shabbos (see Shmos 20:8 and Rambam Hilchos Shabbos 29:1).  According to the Ramban we also fulfill this mitzvah when we announce the day of the week (e.g. Hayom yom rishon baShabbos) prior to reciting the psalm of the day.  We remember what Amalek did to us by reading the relevant psukim from a Sefer Torah once a year (many have the custom of reading it daily from their siddur at the conclusion of Shacharis).

How are we expected to forget what another person did to us?  How can a person be expected not to bear a grudge in his heart for an injustice perpetrated against him by his fellow man?  What should he do - repeat over and over "Hashem has commanded me to forget"?   Not only would he not succeed in forgetting, but the memory of the act would become more deeply ingrained!

We can pose a further question - Hashem says of Himself "for I am the Beneficent One - the word of Hashem - and I will not bear a grudge forever" (Yirmiyahu 3:12).  Does this mean that Hashem forgets?  Do we not declare on Rosh Hashana "there is no forgetfulness before Your Throne of Glory"? (From the Zichronos section of Rosh Hashana Musaf).   Not only does Hashem not forget, but regarding Him the whole concept of forgetting has no meaning.  We affirm every day: "Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad".  One interpretation of the word echad (One) is that Hashem never changes - He is the same One. He always was and always will be - there is no new information He could possibly absorb and not a single piece of knowledge escapes Him.  The verse "I will not bear a grudge forever" certainly cannot mean that the A-mighty will forget a person's sin!

The implication of the pasuk is not that He will forget our sins, rather that He will not act upon that knowledge - when man repents Hashem will act as if the sin did not occur and He will therefore not punish him.  In the same way we can understand the verse: "preserver of kindness for thousands of generations" (Shmos 34:7).  It goes without saying that Hashem remembers forever.  The meaning of the pasuk is that He will respond to acts of chesed and reward them for many generations with precious gifts such as the Land of Israel.  When we praise Hashem in our daily Shmone Esrei as being One "Who recalls the kindnesses of the patriarchs" we do not mean that He recalls the way a human being does, but rather He acts on this memory by promising "a redeemer to their children's children for His Name's sake, with love", may it occur speedily in our day.

This gives us some insight into fulfilling the mitzvah of not bearing a grudge.  We are neither required nor expected to forget the wrongs done to us.  We are forbidden to act in response to them - their behavior should not negatively affect our relationship with the person involved.

"IT WAS HASHEM WHO SENT ME HERE"

 A classic example of this definition of not bearing a grudge is to be found in this week's parsha.  Yoseph explicitly tells his brothers that he has not forgotten what they did to him: "I am Yoseph your brother - it is me, whom you sold into Egypt" (Bereishis 45:5).  Our Sages teach us that after Yoseph and his brothers buried their father in Hebron, Yoseph visited the pit into which he had been cast as a young man and recited the bracha "Who has performed for me a miracle in this place" (see Tanchuma end of Parshas Vayechi).  The Midrash relates that it was upon witnessing this that: "Yoseph's brothers perceived that their father was dead, and they said, 'perhaps Yoseph will nurse hatred against us'" (Bereishis 50:15).  His return to the scene of the crime was a clear indication that he had not forgotten - the brothers saw this and feared for what he would do to them.  Yoseph, of course, had no intention of harming them - he remembered everything but did not intend to act upon this memory.

How does a person reach such a level?  Yoseph HaTzaddik endured terrible suffering - first his brothers wished to kill him, then they threw him into a pit filled with snakes and scorpions, after that they sold him into slavery and eventually he ended up in jail.  Can we imagine a person having all these offenses perpetrated against him and not bearing a grudge?  Yoseph himself explains: "it was not you who sent me here, but Hashem" (Bereishis 45:8).  Anything that happened to me was not through your doing.  You do not have the power to sell me into slavery or the power to kill me, as the author of Chovos HaLevavos writes: "benefit and harm are not in the hands of the creations, nor within their power, without permission of the Creator" (Yichud HaMaase chapter 2, the fifth topic).  No creature can help or harm me in any way without it being so decreed by Divine Providence.  This can be compared to a dog which is hit by a rock.  The incensed dog now goes and bites the rock which hit him!  He does not think to blame the person who threw the rock with intent to hurt.

Yoseph understood this quite clearly - he realized that Pharaoh cannot determine whether or not I will be king, just as my brothers have no say in whether or not I will become a slave.  What we see is only a façade.  The ultimate truth is that life and death, slavery and freedom, are all in Hashem's hands - it is He Who decrees who shall live and who shall die, who will be a slave and who will be a free man.  When it was Hashem's will that I become king, I became a king, and when it was His will that I be a slave, I became a slave.  It is true that I remember it all - but that is no cause for me to be angry with you, it is all in Hashem's hands and everything that happened to me was decreed from Heaven.

Chazal in fact inform us "Yaakov Avinu was destined to descend to Egypt in iron chains, however, his merit caused him" (Shabbos 89b).  This means that the decree to Avraham: "know with certainty that your offspring shall be aliens in a land not their own - and they will serve them, and they will oppress them - four hundred years" (Bereishis 15:13), included being brought down to Egypt in iron chains (perhaps by the Midianites or one of the other nations who would have taken Yaakov captive and brought him down to Egypt as a prisoner).  It was Yaakov's merit that caused this detail to be omitted and instead Yaakov made the journey in a royal chariot sent to him by Pharaoh.  It would appear that these words of Chazal applied not only to Yaakov himself but also to his entire family.  Yoseph apparently did not have the merit to be spared this decree, and he therefore descended to Egypt as a captive.  It was not the actions of the brothers that brought Yoseph to Egypt, but the decree foretold to Avraham Avinu of "your offspring shall be aliens".  Had the brothers not been responsible for sending Yoseph to Egypt, Hashem would have found another messenger to carry out His wishes.  Yoseph had no cause for anger, for indeed "it is not you who sent me here but Hashem".

FREE CHOICE

Yeshayahu the prophet beseeched Hashem: "Hashem, arrange peace for us, even as You brought about whatever happened to us" (Yeshayahu 26:12).  It is ultimately Hashem Who is responsible for everything - there can be no peace if that is not His will.  Man's free choice only enables him to choose one path or another - he cannot determine the realization of his wishes.  In general: "in the way that a man wishes to go, in that way they lead him" (Makkos 10 b), but there are times when Hashem prevents this from happening.  Were there not many good Jews who were determined to observe mitzvos and perform good deeds, yet Hashem placed them in Siberia where it was "withheld from them all they proposed to do" (Bereishis 11:6)?  On the other hand, many times throughout history evil people wished to destroy the Jewish nation, G-d forbid, but Hashem's will was that they drown in the deep waters of the Yam Suf or be hanged from a tree fifty amos high.  Although in the majority of cases man is lead along the path he desires for himself, Hashem can determine otherwise.

What we have just said, however, does not fully explain the events that transpired in our parsha.  It may be true that what happened to Yoseph was Hashem's will and without the A-mighty's decision the brothers would not have been able to carry out their wishes, yet they are not entirely out of the picture.  Did they not have intent to harm their brother?

A "PARTNERSHIP WITH HASHEM"

In Hilchos Shabbos we learn: "if this one was able, but this one was unable, the able one is liable while the unable one is not" (See Rambam Hilchos Shabbos 1:16).  If two people together carried out an act that was in violation of the Shabbos, the one who was unable to carry out the prohibition on his own is not liable, because he was nothing more than an assistant, and "assisting is insignificant" (Shabbos 93a).  The halacha views the combined action of these two people as if the "able" one carried everything out on his own.

One way of viewing the story of the brothers is as such a partnership.  Hashem obviously is the "able" one who needs no assistance in running the world.  He could have carried out whatever He had decreed for Yoseph on His own - He had no need for the brothers' assistance.  The brothers were "unable" - without Hashem's will, they would have been unable to bring any harm upon Yoseph on their own.

However, although the assistant may not be punishable for violation of the Shabbat, he was still involved in the act.  If, for example, the partners wished to transport a heavy object weighing 100 kg from a private domain to a public one, while the able one may have been able to carry it on his own, with his friend's assistance, he need only exert the effort required to carry 80 kg.  Should the brothers not be held at least somewhat responsible for "assisting" Hashem?  Why did Yoseph ascribe responsibility to Hashem for all that had taken place?  The answer is that man's role is even less than that of the "unable" partner.  "Assisting is insignificant" but man's assistance is even less than insignificant.  Any tools we may avail ourselves of we received from Hashem, it is He alone Who is responsible.  Man cannot assist Hashem even one iota.  Why should Yoseph be angry with his brothers?

This is one of the fundamental principles of the Torah.  The Ramban writes that there is no natural order of the world because Hashem decrees everything and whoever does not understand this has no share in the Torah of Moshe Rabenu.  The brothers had absolutely no involvement in this case.  The Midianites, although they will be punished for their role, were ultimately not responsible for the sale - it was the will of Hashem from beginning to end.

The fact that Hashem is responsible for everything is not limited to the incident involving Yoseph and his brothers.  We must realize that any time someone wrongs us it is the will of Hashem.  The other person's role is only illusory - can we bear a grudge against an illusion?  Yoseph was reassuring his brothers that they had not done anything to him and therefore they need not fear acts of revenge or bearing a grudge.

HAKARAS HATOV

We may then ask: does this also mean that a recipient of chesed does not owe his benefactor a debt of gratitude because, as we cited from the Chovos HaLevavos: "benefit and harm are not in the hands of the creations, nor within their power, without permission of The Creator"?  Certainly not!  It is our imperative to feel gratitude towards anyone who acts kindly towards us - in the words of Chazal: "the wine belongs to the master, the good is attributed to the one who pours it" (Baba Kama 92b).  In addition to the owner of the wine, I must thank the one who poured it.  If Hashem sends someone to aid me in any way, I cannot think: Hashem has no need for assistance, if it was His will that this good be brought upon me, He could have done so without the messenger.  The messenger therefore deserves no credit for any of the good deeds he has performed.
If Hashem chooses to bestow His kindness upon me through the good deeds of a fellow human being, I must acknowledge what the person has done for me.  This obligation of hakaras hatov applies even to inanimate objects that have no free choice.  A classic example of this was Moshe Rabenu.  He was told to instruct Aharon to strike the river in order to bring about the plagues of blood and frogs.  Moshe himself was not commanded to strike the river because he had a debt of gratitude towards it for having protected him as an infant (see Rashi 7:19 and 8:12).  Did the river know that it was protecting Moshe?  In fact, if I were to ask the river if it wished its water to be transformed into blood it would have been overjoyed at the prospect.  For its entire existence the river had suffered by being used for Egyptian Avoda Zara, now finally it had a golden opportunity to perform a Kiddush Hashem - to provide water for the Jews while at the same time supplying the Egyptians with blood!  Even so, striking the river would not be a respectful way to act towards something which had bestowed such good.

Similarly, as we elaborated in Parshas Miketz, when Moshe Rabenu came to the rescue of Yisro's daughters they relate "an Egyptian man saved us from the shepherds" (Shmos 2:19).   Why is Moshe Rabenu being referred to as an Egyptian?  One of Chazal's explanations is that the "Egyptian man" they were referring to was not Moshe Rabenu.  When the daughters came to thank him, Moshe responded: "it was not I who saved you, rather the Egyptian man whom I killed, it was because of him that I had to flee to Midian, he is the one who saved you" (Shmos Rabba 1:32). This is how far the obligation of hakaras hatov extends.

FOUNDATION OF OUR BELIEF

Gratitude is the very foundation of our belief!  A person who lacks hakaras hatov for another human being, ultimately will not recognize the good that Hashem has done for him (see Shmos Rabba 1:10).  Such a person may come to argue that all the good Hashem has given him - his wealth, his food and clothing, the gift of Eretz Yisrael, does not make a dent in Hashem's pocketbook.  Why should Hashem not give?  He has nothing to lose.  We must therefore practice the middah of hakaras hatov - to learn to have hakaras hatov to one another, even to those who had evil intentions.  Only when we accustom ourselves to having gratitude to Hashem's messengers, will we be able to have gratitude to the One for Whom we really must have hakaras hatov for - the A-mighty.
Chazal teach us "one is obligated to become intoxicated on Purim until one does not know the difference between cursed is Haman and blessed is Mordechai" (Megillah 7b).  What does it mean not to know the difference between Arur Haman and Baruch Mordechai?  HaGaon HaRav Yitzchak Ezrachi Shlit"a explained that a person is obligated to attain the level of recognition that there is ultimately no difference between Haman and Mordechai, in terms of the ability of their actions to influence our lives.  It was not really Haman who wrought evil upon the nation and it was not Mordechai who brought about our salvation, Am Yisrael brought the trouble upon themselves by bowing down to an image or by benefiting from the feast of Achashverosh (see Megillah 12a).  It was the people as well, who ultimately brought about the salvation - by doing teshuva.

All this is true, and it ties in with what we just quoted from the Chovos HaLevavos, yet this does not absolve us of our obligation of hakaras hatov towards Esther and Mordechai.  In the case of Haman, however, although we have just learned that we do not attribute bad to the one who carried it out, the prohibition of "you shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge" does not apply.  It only applies "against the members of your people" (Vayikra 19:18).  Not only does Amalek not fall under this category, but there is an explicit commandment to "remember what Amalek did to you" (Devarim 25:17) - we are permitted to hold a grudge against Haman and his wife for their sinister plans and we are allowed to say "cursed be Haman" and "cursed be Zeresh", even though the decree was from G-d.  Nekima and netira are forbidden only with regard to our fellow Jews.

EVERYTHING HASHEM DOES IS FOR OUR GOOD

Yoseph HaTzaddik teaches us an additional reason why a person should not be angry when someone wrongs him: "although you intended me harm, Hashem intended it for good" (Bereishis 50:20).  Not only are you not the correct address for any grievances, but why should I be angry - if Hashem did it then it must be for the good.  Can we be angry at someone who is good to us?  It may be that "you intended me harm," but Hashem Who runs the world "intended it for good" - "whatever the Merciful One does, He does for the best" (Berachos 60b).  If Hashem decreed that I be a slave in Egypt, then it was for my own good.  I must have hakaras hatov to Hashem even when things appear bad.  I must be grateful for being thrown into a pit filled with snakes and scorpions - it was all for my good.  We can compare this to a doctor who saves his patient's life by amputating his leg.  Would the patient be angry?  Not only would he not be angry but he would be willing to compensate the doctor for services rendered.  Any difficult and painful operation Hashem puts us through is ultimately for our own benefit.  Rashi (Bereishis 37:2) explains that Yoseph was thrown into the pit and then sold into slavery as a tikkun for the damage he had caused by bringing bad reports about his brothers to their father.  The suffering that he underwent served to cleanse him of these sins until he became worthy of being king in Egypt and becoming the savior of the Jewish people who also suffered through an exile that was for their own good - "that a vast people be kept alive" (Bereishis 50:20).  Had Yoseph not undergone this "operation", he would not have been able to assume the kingship in Egypt.

In Yoseph's case, the end result showed clearly how ultimately it was all for the good - he ended up becoming viceroy in Egypt bringing salvation to the Jewish people.  It is not always obvious to us that "whatever the Merciful One does, He does for the best" (Brachos 60b), yet we must understand that there is nothing that happens to us that is not for our own good.  "Hashem is our G-d, Hashem is the One and Only" - whether He invokes the Attribute of Mercy or the Attribute of Justice.  Justice in fact stems from the Attribute of Mercy - Hashem punishes us out of a desire to set us on the path of Torah and mitzvoth to enable us to earn a share in Olam Haba.  We pray that there no longer be a need for the Attribute of Justice and that we be worthy of chesed without punishment.  None of us desires to suffer the way Yoseph and many other tzaddikim did.  The halacha is, however, that "a man is obligated to recite a blessing on bad tidings" (Brachos 54a), just as he does on good tidings.  What appears to us as bad is in fact for our own good - even if in this world it is difficult for us to discern this.

We pray that we remain healthy and not have to undergo any "operations".  If we are destined to suffer, then may our sufferings be with mercy, as the Talmud asks: "at what stage does Divine retribution commence?  ... where one intended to take out three (coins) and took out two" (Erchin 16b).   It is considered Divinely ordained suffering if a person places his hand in his pocket in search of three coins and he manages to take out only two.  He must now go to the trouble of placing his hand in his pocket a second time in order to retrieve the third coin.  A further example of suffering cited by the Gemara is "if his shirt gets turned inside out" (ibid.) - a person who did not put his shirt on properly must take the time to remove it, turn it the right way around, and put it on again.  What terrible and unimaginable suffering these people are enduring! May we too endure only this sort of suffering!

If a slight nudge from above like this awakens us to tshuva then the "minor operation" is sufficient.  If, however, we remain steadfast in our ways and do not repent, then Hashem will have to punish us in ways that involve a greater degree of suffering.  Everything Hashem does is for our good.  He would rather act with us in a sweeter and less harsh manner.  When there is no choice, He employs harsher means.

FOR THE SAKE OF HIS NAME

The pasuk states: "everything Hashem made He made for His sake" (Mishle 16:4).  Everything Hashem does is for the purpose of sanctifying His Name, "even the evildoer for the day of retribution" (ibid.) - even punishment of the wicked produces a Kiddush Hashem. Of course, Hashem would rather dispense with this form of Kiddush Hashem and have all His creations follow in the ways of the tzaddikim.  The Midrash states: "'and the earth was astonishingly empty' (Bereishis 1:2) - this refers to the actions of the wicked, 'Hashem said - let there be light' (ibid. 3) this refers to the actions of the righteous, I cannot know which of the two He prefers ... since it states: 'Hashem saw that the light was good' (ibid. 4) we know that it is the actions of the righteous He desires and not those of the wicked" (Bereishis Rabba 2:5).  Hashem would prefer that all of His creatures benefit from this world rather than have to suffer plagues and punishment.

WE ARE ALL BROTHERS

We discussed that Yoseph believed he had no cause for anger because ultimately Hashem was responsible and he knew that it was all for the best because everything Hashem does is for our good.  Yoseph furnishes us with a third reason why he did not anger, why there was no room for any revenge or grudge - "I am Yoseph your brother" (Bereishis 45:4).  The word for brother - ach - is comprised of the first two letters of the word echad, one.  We are one body, one unit - how can I take revenge on myself?  A grudge against you is a grudge against me.  The Yerushalmi illustrates the prohibition of taking revenge and bearing a grudge in the following manner:  If a person were to hold a piece of meat in one hand and a knife in the other, but rather than cutting the meat, he would accidentally cut his hand, would he then transfer the knife to the injured hand to take revenge upon the healthy hand?  Both hands belong to the same person! The one who caused the damage is also the victim! (See Nedarim 9:4).  Can a person take revenge and bear a grudge against himself?  Should he punish the right hand by declaring "let my right hand forget its skill" (Tehillim 135:5)?  He will continue to wash his right hand and care for it as he did before.  The brothers are all sons of Yaakov "all sons of one man are we" (Bereishis 42:11), they are all one body - one "self".  The self in the guise of Reuven, Shimon, and Levi sold the self in the guise of Yoseph into slavery.  Yoseph is reassuring them that any harm brought upon him is similar to one arm harming the other.  There is no one against whom to take revenge.

INTERTWINED

In his work Tomer Devorah (1:4), R' Moshe Kordevero uses this idea to explain Chazal's adage: "kol Yisrael areivim zeh bazeh" "all Jewish people are responsible for one another" (Sanhedrin 27b).  To be an areiv implies being intertwined with the other and responsible for his actions and welfare. (In fact a guarantor on a loan is referred to as an areiv because with regards to the loan, the assets of the borrower and guarantor are intertwined.)  Each Jew contains within him a spark of every other Jew.  We are one body.  If the left hand was to hurt the right hand, or the right hand was to hurt the left, there is no one to be angry with.  Is there jealousy among our various body parts?  When there is hard work to do I use my hands, when there are long distances to journey my feet bear the brunt of it.  However, when there is delicious food available my mouth eats it!  Is this justice? Is this a fair distribution of tasks?  It is neither the hands that work, nor the feet that walk and nor the mouth that eats and enjoys the food.  They are all part of one body, the body functions as one complete unit - it works, walks, and eats.  The body parts are the organs set aside for carrying out these various tasks - they cannot be interchanged with each other.  The entire Jewish nation is one individual, we are all intertwined.

The Talmud discusses the division of the Land of Israel and questions whether a city could be divided up among more than one tribe (see Sanhedrin 111b).  Tosafos ask: is Yerushalayim, which is divided among the tribes of Yehuda and Binyamin, not an example of a city whose jurisdiction is divided among two tribes (see Tosafos Yeshanim Yoma 12a)?  Tosafos explain that Yerushalayim was an exception because Hashem expressly commanded that it be divided in this fashion.  I would like to suggest another explanation.  Why was Yerushalayim shared specifically by Yehuda and Binyamin?  Because they are in effect one tribe!  Before taking Binyamin down to Egypt Yehuda promised his father anochi e-ervenu "I personally will guarantee him" (Bereishis 43:9).  The word e-ervenu comes from the same root as meurav - mixed in, intertwined.  The tribes of Yehuda and Binyamin are in effect one tribe.

The Shita Mekubetzes relates a fascinating Midrash.  During the time of Shlomo HaMelech there lived a person who was born with two heads.  When the man's father passed away, he charged that he had the status of two people and he therefore claimed a double portion of inheritance.  The other brothers maintained that he was only one person.  The case was brought before Shlomo HaMelech.  The wisest of all men covered one of the heads with a thick opaque blanket so that he could not see and he poured hot water over the other head.  Both heads screamed in anguish proving that "they" were only one person - one head felt the pain of the other.  Klal Yisrael is goi echad baaretz - one nation on earth.  We feel the pain of our fellow Jews more than any other nation feels the pain of their brethren.  The pain of a Frenchman living in Syria or Lebanon means little to the people in France, yet when a Jew suffers anywhere in the world, the entire Jewish nation cries out.

The Torah commands us: "ve-ahavta lere-acha kamocha"  "love your fellow as yourself" (Vayikra 19:18).  This does not mean to love him "as if he were you", but to understand that he really is a part of you and you are a part of him.  Your soul contains a spark of him, while a spark of your soul is in him.  Would you ever say of yourself: "I would like myself if not for these few faults I have?"  How then can you go and say that about your fellow Jew?  (This of course does not include those whom the Torah commands us to hate).  Just as you love yourself despite any faults you may have, so too must you love your friend despite anything negative you discover in his character.

Perhaps we can suggest a fourth way to understand the mitzvah of not taking revenge or bearing a grudge.  The Torah commands us: "you shall not covet" (Shmos 20:14).  According to the Ibn Ezra's understanding the prohibition is to covet in one's heart something which belongs to another (other Rishonim are of the opinion that this prohibition involves an action (see Rambam Hilchos Gezela vaAveda 1:9 and Chinuch mitzvah 38).  The Ibn Ezra asks: is it really possible to fulfill this commandment, what if we truly desire what the other person has?  We can demand of someone not to steal from another, but to have no desire for something that belongs to another?  The Ibn Ezra explains that if a commoner were to sight a beautiful princess, he would realize the futility of coveting her, for the king would never agree to let him marry her.  The king would choose someone very wealthy or an important minister, or a successful army officer, the notion of "do not covet" does not even apply here!  In this fashion, says the Ibn Ezra, we must view the possessions of others - like an unattainable princess.  There is nothing to talk about, she is not and cannot be yours.  Once we understand that, we will have no desire for the possessions of another.

"REMEMBER ALWAYS THE DAY THAT YOU STOOD BEFORE HASHEM"

I thought of another way to answer the Ibn Ezra's question.   The Midrash recounts that when the Jewish people stood beneath Har Sinai, their souls departed from them (see Shir HaShirim Rabba 6:3).  The people were drawn to such spirituality that their only wish was to cleave to Hashem, they no longer had any connection to this world.  It was only the dew of resurrection of the dead that returned their souls to them.  At that moment, if they would have been asked: "are you interested in your friend's house", they would have responded: "I am not even interested in my own house, for my only wish is to cleave to Hashem".  The Torah demands of us: to carry the memory of Maamad Har Sinai with us forever: "only beware for yourself and greatly beware for your soul, lest you forget the things that your eyes have beheld and lest you remove them from your heart all the days of your life ... the day that you stood before Hashem, your G-d, at Horeb" (Devarim 4:9-10).   Just as on that day, you received the Torah "with awe, with dread, with trembling" (Yoma 4b), so must you must receive the Torah all the days of your life.  This is a very difficult task to fulfill, yet the Torah commands us that the impression of Maamad Har Sinai should remain with us always.  Just as at Har Sinai we were not even interested in our own house, never mind in houses belonging to our fellow Jews, in this same way must we view another's possessions always.

The Ibn Ezra's question is no longer a difficult one.  If we were to live our lives under the influence of that Great Assembly at Har Sinai, we would never covet the property of others.  In the same way we would never violate the commandment: "you shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge".  When we live our entire lives as if we are still at Sinai, cleaving to Hashem, there is no room for revenge and grudges, for our only interest is how we can better serve Hashem.  It is Hashem's wish that I love every Jew, this must be my goal - I cannot bear any grudges.  What we have said is easy to say but very difficult to practice, for we do not really live under the influence of Har Sinai - we lead a life that requires that we eat, sleep, and take care of other bodily needs.  But we should make it our goal to live our days cleaving to Hashem the way we did at Har Sinai.  If we do so we will have no difficulty avoiding the prohibition of "you shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge against the members of your people", and we will have no trouble fulfilling "love your fellow as yourself".