THE PROHIBITION OF REVENGE AND BEARING A GRUDGE
The Torah commands us: "You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge against the members of your people" (Vayikra 19:18). We can easily understand what the Torah demands from us when it prohibits us from taking revenge. For example, if my neighbor refused to lend me his horse and he then asks to borrow my car, I should not turn him down claiming: "you did not lend me your horse, why should I lend you my car?" Even though fulfillment of this commandment is often quite difficult, it is within man's ability to do so. What does the Torah mean, however, when it commands us not to bear a grudge? Are we supposed to FORGET events that took place?

REMEMBERING AND FORGETTING
The Torah contains many mitzvoth that involve REMEMBERING. We are commanded, for example to "Remember the Sabbath day to sanctify it" (Shmot 20:8). We remember the Shabbat by reciting Kiddush upon its onset and Havdalah at its conclusion. The Rambam explicitly writes that reciting Kiddush when Shabbat enters is a fulfillment of this commandment (see Hilchot Shabbat 29:1). According to the Ramban we fulfill this mitzvah when we state prior to the psalm for each day: "today is the first day of the Shabbat", etc., and he even stipulates that we may not refer to the days of the week by any other name. In addition, we remember the Shabbat the entire week by buying delicacies and preparing them especially for Shabbat. We are also commanded to remember the exodus from Egypt. We accomplish this firstly by observing the Yom Tov of Pesach for seven days, in addition there are a variety of mitzvoth aimed at reminding us of this great event. Every year we remind ourselves of what Amalek did to us by reciting the relevant passages from the Torah.

What means can we utilize to assist ourselves in FORGETTING something that we know? How can man be commanded not to bear a grudge in his heart over some injustice perpetrated against him by his fellow man? How does the Torah expect us to fulfill this Mitzvah? Even if one were to repeat over and over again "leShem Yichud Kudsha Brich Hu Hashem has commanded me to forget", it would not work, in fact it would have the opposite effect - it would become ingrained even deeper in our memory!

There is a further difficulty here - Hashem says of Himself "for I am the Beneficent One - the word of Hashem - and I will not bear a grudge forever" (Yirmiyahu 3:12). How can Hashem be expected to forget? Do we not recite on Rosh Hashana "there is no forgetfulness before Your Throne of Glory" (from the Zichronot section of Musaf)? Not only does Hashem not forget, but the whole concept of forgetfulness has no relevance when speaking of Him. The Rambam elaborates and explains that there is no change in Hashem from one moment to the next, He does not absorb new information nor does any information escape Him, what was yesterday will be tomorrow. We, on the other hand, learn a daf of Gemara, and even if we do manage to understand it, it is forgotten by the following day. What then is the meaning of "I will not bear a grudge forever"? It cannot possibly mean that Hashem will forget the sin! What Hashem means is that He will not view our actions in such a negative light.

I believe that when the Torah commands us not to bear a grudge it does not expect us to FORGET what took place, rather no matter what the other person did to us, we must not view his actions as being so bad. He did not lend me his horse, so what! The question is how can we view the negative actions of others in this light, what if that which the other did to me was really terrible?

YOSEPH HATZADDIK
It appears to me that the classic example of fulfillment of "you shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge" is Yoseph. How does a person attain such a level? So many terrible things were done to him - his brothers at first wished to kill him, they then threw him into a pit filled with snakes and scorpions, he was then sold into slavery and eventually ended up in jail. Can we imagine a person having gone through all those trials and tribulations yet bearing no grudge? Yoseph did not forget for a moment what had been done to him - "I am Yoseph your brother - it is me, whom you sold into Egypt" (Bereishit 45:5). It was because Yoseph did not forget what had transpired years earlier that the brothers feared his taking revenge following their father's passing: "Yoseph's brothers perceived that their father was dead, and they said, 'perhaps Yoseph will nurse hatred against us'" (Bereishit 50:15). Yoseph, of course, had no intention of bringing any harm on his brothers - he remembered everything but was not about to act in response to this memory. We read in this week's Parsha what Yoseph says to his brothers upon revealing to them his true identity: "it was not you who sent me here, but Hashem" (Bereishit 45:8). What does he mean when he says that they did not do it? Does the Torah not tell us that they were the ones who sold him? What Yoseph is saying is: anything that happened to me was not through your doing. You may have carried out the actual act, but the moving force was not you. You do not have the power to sell or not to sell, to kill or not to kill. Hashem runs the world. If He deems, for example, that a person is not meant to use his neighbor's horse, then nothing in the world can get him on that horse. Only because Hashem wished to bring harm upon me did you have the power to do so, otherwise you would not have been able to lift a finger against me. It was not you who brought all these things upon me, but it was the will of Hashem.

Chazal tell us that when a person strikes a dog with a stick, the dog becomes angry and out of revenge will bite the stick. From his perspective it is the stick that harmed him, and not the human being on the other end of it. Here too, a fellow man who harms us is simply serving as Hashem's "stick". Why should we take any revenge, the other person did me no harm, he was simply carrying out Hashem's wish. This is precisely what Yoseph explained to his brothers. In fact, in relation to Hashem, we are even less than the stick. I cannot hit the dog without some instrument, Hashem has no need for any messengers, He could have found an alternative way to send Yoseph to Egypt without using Arabs and without his brothers. Hashem's sending Yoseph from Eretz Yisrael down to Egypt by means of other people was to give Yoseph the feeling of having been sold. It was Hashem's desire that Yoseph arrive in Egypt not as a free man, and he therefore was imprisoned and was a slave in the house of Potiphar. Just as it was clear that his becoming viceroy was purely the hand of Hashem, so was his initially being a slave.

Although everything is the word of Hashem, we must understand that when good things befall us, we owe hakarat hatov to the person who was instrumental in bringing us this good.

SAVED BY AN EGYPTIAN?
The Torah tells us that when Moshe came to the rescue of Yitro's daughters and saved them from the shepherds, they related the incident to their father as follows: "an Egyptian man saved us from the shepherds" (Shmot 2:19). What did they mean "an Egyptian man" saved them? Moshe was Jewish! Chazal offer several interpretations of why Moshe was referred to as "an Egyptian man". One of the explanations is that the "Egyptian man" was not referring to Moshe Rabenu at all. When Yitro's daughters wished to thank Moshe for having saved them, Moshe responded "it was not I who saved you, rather the Egyptian man whom I killed, it was because of him that I had to flee to Midian, he is the one who saved you" (Shmot Rabba 1:32). You owe me no thanks, any debt of gratitude you may have is to that Egyptian.

When that evil Egyptian hit the Jewish man, it was clearly not with the intent of rescuing Yitro's daughters, he probably was unaware that Yitro even had any daughters. He had evil in mind - killing a Jewish man and the many other sins he was guilty of (see Tanchuma Shmot 9). Even so, because that he was responsible for Moshe's having to flee Egypt, ultimately ending up in Midian and being able to rescue the young women from the shepherds, they owed him a debt of gratitude. We see just how far this obligation of hakarat hatov extends.

When it comes to bad things, however, we do not attribute them to the person who carried them out, but rather to Hashem. Yoseph tells his brothers that it was not they who sent him down to Egypt but it was Hashem. It was Hashem's wish that Yoseph be a slave in Egypt and that later on he become viceroy. The first lesson we can learn from Yoseph's response to his brothers is therefore that when anything bad happens we must realize that it is all in the hands of G-d.

IF A FALLEN ONE FALLS ...
One must do his utmost to insure that he not be Hashem's agent for causing harm to his fellow man. The Torah tells us: "If you build a new house, you shall make a fence for your roof, so that you will not place blood in your house if a fallen one falls from it" (Devarim 22:8). Why does the Torah refer to the person as "fallen" when he has not yet fallen? Chazal explain: "the victim had been deserving to fall from the time of the six days of creation, for indeed he has not yet fallen and Scripture calls him 'a fallen one' ...", (Shabbat 32a). The Torah refers to him as fallen because he was destined to fall even before the act actually took place. If that is the case, why are we commanded to place a fence around our roof as a means of preventing tragedy, should we not simply say that one who falls was destined to fall in any event and there is nothing I can do to prevent that? Chazal respond: "benefit is imparted through one who is meritorious and harm through one who is guilty" (ibid.). His death may have already been decreed, but "let his death not come about through you" (Rashi Devarim 22:8). We must not set for ourselves as a goal to carry out Hashem's terrible decrees, therefore the Torah commands us to construct a fence around our roof to prevent someone from falling.

A robber was once asked what he davens for on Yom Kippur. His response was that if it were decreed that a particular individual's possessions be stolen, his prayer is to be Hashem's messenger to carry out that decree! This, of course, is not the way one should view things. We must do our utmost to insure that we not be the ones to carry out acts which are detrimental to others.

Even had the brothers not sold Yoseph in to slavery, Hashem would have found some other means of bringing Yoseph down to Egypt. Why then should Yoseph be upset at his brothers?

EVERYTHING IS FOR THE BEST
As we have just discussed, Yoseph did not bear a grudge because "it was not you who sent me here, but Hashem". Yoseph provides us with an additional reason for not being angry: "Although you intended me harm, Hashem intended it for good" (Bereishit 50:20). Not only are you not the correct "address" for any grievances, but why should I be angry if Hashem did it then it must be for good. Can we be angry at someone who is good to us? It may be that "you intended me harm", but Hashem Who runs the world "intended it for good" - "whatever the Merciful One does, He does for the best" (Brachot 60b). If Hashem decreed that I be a slave in Egypt, then it was for my own good. I spoke loshon hara and I must be taught a lesson and it was for this reason that I was sent down to Egypt. I must have hakarat hatov even for circumstances that appear negative, I must have gratitude for being thrown into a pit filled with snakes and scorpions as well - it was all for the good. Was this not what ultimately lead to my becoming viceroy in Egypt? In Yoseph's case, the end result showed how it all was ultimately for the good. It is not always clear to us that "whatever the Merciful One does, He does for the best", yet we must understand that there is nothing that happens to us that is not for our own good.

We recite three times daily: "pote-ach et yadecha umasbia lechol chai ratzon" "You open Your hand, and satisfy the desire of every living thing" (Tehillim 145:16). Does Hashem really "satisfy the desire of every living thing"? If someone wishes to become Prime Minister, does Hashem simply fulfill his wish and he then becomes our next Prime Minister? Many people desire wealth, yet few attain it. How then can we recite this pasuk three times daily in all honesty? Hashem fulfills the wishes of a person's SOUL, He does not fulfill the desires of man's external physical body. A person's inner soul desires purity, and only Hashem knows the true desire of that person and what is best for him. If wealth is the best thing for him, then he will become rich.

YOSEPH'S PREPARATIONS
Yoseph told his brothers that he has no reason to be angry at them, for it was all a fulfillment of the Divine Plan. The end results clearly show us that it was all for the good, not only did Yoseph become viceroy in Egypt but he was able to save the entire nation, including Yaakov and his family from hunger. Had the salvation only been a material one, however, Hashem could have chosen another messenger. Yoseph did much more. Yoseph commanded the entire Egyptian people to undergo Brit Milah (see Rashi Bereishit 41:55). Why should they be circumcised, are they obligated in this Mitzvah, do they wish to undergo conversion to Judaism? In this week's Parsha we read of another decree Yoseph placed upon the Egyptian people: "As for the nation, he resettled it by cities, from one end of Egypt's borders to the other" (Bereishit 47:20). This act of resettling the entire nation at first glance appears very cruel he uprooted people from homes they had lived in for generations for no apparent reason. What crime did the Egyptian people commit to deserve such a punishment? The Gemara tells us that the purpose of this exercise was only so "that his brothers should not be considered as having been exiled" (Chullin 60b). What would be so terrible if they were considered as exiles? The result would be that they would view themselves as being on a lesser status than the Egyptians. In order to prevent this, Yoseph saw to it that all the Egyptians viewed themselves as being on foreign soil - Yaakov was from Hebron, his neighbor was from Tzoan Mitzrayim - there was no longer any distinction. There would be less desire to assimilate when the Egyptians would not be viewed as having anything better.

Yoseph was preparing the Jewish people to inherit all that Avraham Avinu had passed down to them belief in Hashem, prophecy, and more. Similarly, by forcing all of Egypt to undergo Brit Milah, Yoseph was guaranteeing that at least for that generation this mitzvah would be observed by all. Otherwise, some members of Klal Yisrael may have opted to emulate the Egyptians thinking that they had it better, ultimately leading to assimilation. We know, unfortunately that Yoseph's efforts did not bear as much fruit as he would have liked, as the Rambam writes: "It almost came to pass that the great tree that Avraham Avinu had planted was uprooted and the sons of Yaakov would have returned to their wanderings and aimlessness and the errors of the world ..." (Hilchot Avodat Kochavim 1:3). Chazal tell us that four fifths of the Jewish people died during the plague of darkness. Even the remaining one-fifth who had retained their devotion to the A-lmighty did so only because of Yoseph's intensive efforts on their behalf - he did his best to insure that the belief in
Hashem that had been passed down from Avraham Avinu remained.

We recite in the Haggadah ""there was no time for the dough of our forefathers to sour". It was not only the bread that did not become chametz, but the spiritual dough of our forefathers had not yet managed to sour - their souls had not yet become chametz. Had the redemption been delayed for even a short while longer, had Hashem not appeared and taken us out of Egypt precisely at that time, Am Yisrael in Egypt would have sunk completely to a level of impurity from which there was no rising.

IN WHAT WAY ARE THESE DIFFERENT FROM THOSE?
We recite in the Haggadah "'Hashem took us out from Egypt' (Devarim 26:8) - not by means of an angel and not by means of a seraph ...". Many explanations have been suggested regarding why the slaying of the firstborn had to be carried out by Hashem Himself and not through an intervening angel. One of these explanations is that there were many Jews who could no longer be identified as Jews rather than Egyptians. Only Hashem still had the ability to make this distinction and to know not to slay them. Clearly we are not speaking of the entire nation, after all there were tzaddikim the likes of Aharon HaKohen and Yehoshua bin Nun, but there were also many Jews who to an angel, would be indistinguishable from the Egyptians. Even afterwards, when the nation had passed many tests of faith, such as agreeing to leave Egypt without complaining "how can we go out to the desert without any food for the journey" (see Shmot 12:39 and Rashi there), the Egyptian ministering could still ask on the seventh day of their journey: "in what way are these people different from those?"
(see Yalkut Shimoni remez 238). The angel was unable to discern the difference between Jew and Egyptian and demanded that the Jewish people be drowned at sea along with the Egyptians! Hashem indeed ruled otherwise, that the Jew was distinguishable from the Egyptian, but we see just how close the Jewish people were to totally drowning in the impurities of Egypt. The little that remained, the few Jews who could still be distinguished from Egyptians was all to Yoseph's credit.

A "ROYAL JOURNEY"
Chazal tell us "Yaakov Avinu was destined to descend to Egypt in iron chains, however, his merit caused him" (Shabbat 89b). This means that one of the conditions of the decree of "know with certainty that your offspring shall be sojourners in a land not their own, they will enslave them, and they will oppress them four hundred years" (Bereishit 15:13) was that Yaakov descend to Egypt in iron chains, whether by Midianites or by any other nation who would take Yaakov into captivity and bring him down to Egypt as a prisoner. Yaakov's merit however was the cause of this detail being disqualified from the decree. Yaakov instead went down to Egypt with the royal caravan "in the wagons which Pharaoh had sent to transport him" (Bereishit 46:5). Yaakov's sons took him down to Egypt in a calmer fashion, with his entire family and with all their flock and possessions.

At first glance this is very difficult to understand. If we were to put the following question to Yaakov: "what do you prefer being taken down to Egypt in iron chains via Hebron and Beer Sheva, a journey of not more than a few days, or would you rather make the descent to Egypt in a more "honorable" fashion. This "honorable" manner involves your son being sold into slavery as a result of the senseless hatred of his brothers, that senseless hatred which would became the root of all subsequent senseless hatred in Jewish history, for which we are still suffering today. Descending "honorably" means having the Divine Inspiration depart from you for twenty-two years (see Rashi Bereishit 37:34 and 45:27 as well as the Rambam's Shmone Perakim perek 7), and entails the last twelve years of your father Yitzchak's life being spent watching his son crying in mourning (see Rashi Bereishit 35:29). This is all for the purpose of Yoseph becoming king in Egypt and being able to bring you down to Egypt in a manner befitting royalty?" We would expect, when given such a choice, that Yaakov would opt for the chains! What good is Hashem doing for Yaakov by bringing him down to Egypt in this "honorable" manner that includes so many hardships?

ISRAEL ARRIVED IN EGYPT AS PRINCES
The explanation is that in spite of everything, the sale of Yoseph was a positive thing for Yaakov. Yoseph states: "for it was to be a provider that Hashem sent me ahead of you" (Bereishit 45:5). My Rebbe HaRav Dessler zt"l explained (see Michtav M'Eliyahu volume II, pages 231-4), that Yoseph was not referring to himself as the physical provider, giving out food during years of famine, Hashem can find other ways in which to provide. The reference here is to spiritual sustenance, to prevent Bnei Yisrael's assimilation in Egypt. Had Yaakov arrived in Egypt clad in iron chains, then already at the start of their exile the Jewish people would have had the status of slaves. They would have felt insignificant in comparison to the Egyptians and they would have totally assimilated. For this reason, they arrived in Egypt as princes, one brother was the viceroy, and Yaakov came as royalty and met with Pharaoh. In addition, Yoseph's brothers were granted land "in the best part of the land, in the region of Rameses" (Bereishit 47:11). To a certain extent this prevented Klal Yisrael from assimilating in Egypt. Although following the passing of Yoseph and the holy tribes, the Jewish people began to assimilate as we mentioned, the preparations made by Yoseph served to delay the assimilation process because the Jews did not feel themselves inferior.

KLAL YISRAEL IS ONE BODY
Yoseph's response to his brothers teaches us a third lesson as well. Upon revealing his identity to his brothers, Yoseph says "ani Yoseph achichem" "I am Yoseph your brother" (Bereishit 45:4). The word "ach", brother, has the same root as the word "echad", one. We are one body, how can I take revenge? The Yerushalmi compares this to someone who was holding a piece of meat in his left hand and a knife in the right, and while cutting the meat, accidentally cut his finger. Should the left hand now take revenge and cut the right? That would be ludicrous for the one who caused the hurt and the one who was hurt are one and the same! Just as a person does not take revenge on himself, he cannot take any revenge on others. They are all one body with different parts. The self in the guise of Reuven, Shimon, and Levi, sold the self in the guise of Yoseph to slavery. Can we speak about revenge? R' Moshe Kordivero points out that "kol Yisrael areivim zeh bazeh" (Shvuot 39a), means that we are all "meurav", mixed in together. Each of us has a spark of the soul of every other Jew, my body contains a spark of your soul and your body contains a spark of my soul. We cannot speak of revenge against our fellow Jew, for we are all one.

In fact, the entire creation is one body, but first and foremost Klal Yisrael is "echad" - we must feel for our fellow Jew that I am he and he is me. There is no cause for hatred or envy. These then are the three lessons we can derive from the incident involving Yoseph and his brothers: that everything comes from Hashem, that if it comes from Hashem it must be for the good, and that Klal Yisrael is one unit and any harm inflicted upon me by my fellow Jew was actually inflicted upon me by myself. With this in mind we can fulfill the Mitzvah of "You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge against the members of your people."